It's Still Me

On a side note...

2011-11-28T18:57:00.001+08:00

This week hasn't been fantastic for me... So busy i rarely get time to catch a breather... So busy i'm tired to my bones... So busy my parents dun even get the chance to nag at me... Maybe this is the reason why i am so cranky and angsty (as described by frens) this couple of weeks... Why haven someone invented some kind of stress indicator that can be worn arnd, to show the amt of stress one is experiencing, so that some idiots will just keep away...

Yes, these few weeks let me experience alot of things.. How i usually let things go cos i was in a gd mood, how irritating ppl can't get anywhere near my nerves (maybe cos i am too fat?)... But nt this time... Totally pissed off by a few ppl and incidents thru the couple of weeks... Hopefully this will end smoothly, cos i dun intend to apologise or take full blame for things that hav happened...

Also due to the wonderful fact of rationality, i am beginning to understand wat i am studying in skl... All the things related to Game Theory, Rationalism, Verstehn, and many pther concepts being applied to everyday life, its just phenomenal how much is more applicable than meets the eye... One thing for sure, i dun hav the luxury of time to be blogging that much anymore.... Until nxt time...

K-pop

2011-11-28T18:49:00.001+08:00

It has been abt 3 years since i started on this crazy path... 3 years ltr, nth has changed.. Ok, quite unfair to say nth changed, this craziness has gone worse... Instead of choosing specific things to follow, i generally watch anything available in an attempt to make myself more korean, even though the only thing i understand are the subtitles underneath (kudos to subbers of shows like Running Man, and anything SNSD related btw, love u ppl ttm)..

As the main characters of this phase of my life lands on the small tropical island which i spent my life on, its as if they are within reach, yet at the same time so far away... No, i am nt the kind that stalk stars, nor do i wait for them at the airport, outside the hotel, or pay an incredible amt of cash to watch them on stage (admire ppl who does that thou)... But until this craziness end, i guess it'll stick for quite a while....

The Investment

2011-11-18T15:11:00.001+08:00

I change my mind... Life is nt just a gamble... In a gamble, u simply put the resources in, and pray that luck is on your side.. Sometimes u win, sometimes u lose... But now i view life differently... Life is an investment..

An investment, of which one puts his or her resources into a certain channel.. Then comes the difference between investing and gambling... A gamble is a one off event, which is determined by gain or loss... An investment, however, is one which is monitored closely, anticipated, speculated, and one which the individual does have some control over...

Now i wun just sit back and see life progress.. Gotta take forceful actions, and change the facts in front... Of course, luck is undeniably still a factor in the game of life, but the decision to roll the dice is mine, and i decide where to place my chips. Life, bring it on...

WTH

2011-11-08T19:49:00.001+08:00

Let me pose a math question.. Lets say u are working for half a day. A normal day's work is 8 hours, so how much work shld u be given? Too simple a question? Get this straight, working adults with degrees in their portfolio can't get this right!! That's correct! Apparently if there is only one employee working for half a day, shldnt it be a given that u only give 4 hours of work? Why did 3 ppl each gave 4 hours of work, and expect me to finish it within half a working day? Dumbasses, go relearn ur math pls...

Reality

2011-10-27T22:41:00.001+08:00

When I was just a si gin na,
I asked "Mummy, wat will I be har?"
"Will I be yan dao? Or si bei wu lüi?"
Here's wat she said to me...
"Gong simi simi? Just go to skl and study.
In future get gd degree, then can earn MONEY!"
*insert tune frm 'when i was just a little boy'*

The cruel reality of a typical Singaporean....

Motivation

2011-10-26T21:10:00.001+08:00

I need it, badly... The drive to do many things that i have not done, the passion to pursue things i shld have achieved.. Why are such things nt available in supermarkets? If i could just buy motivation off a shelf...

Its a chore to even think abt it... Setting aside an entire day to do something, but ending up only with a rough skeleton instead of the completed end product, time has been wasted beyond acceptable standards... But everytime i focus back on the topic, everytime i look at the mountain that i have to climb, i just hold my ground...

I really need that push factor, cos pull factors are nt working anymore...

Circle Line!

2011-10-10T10:03:00.001+08:00

Took the new circle line today! From bishan to buona vista takes approx half an hr only! Including delays!! Imagine when the system is fully operational, we can practically go anywhere easily le!

Had another round of hand twisting today.. Quite tired of the small improvement, need more! Or a new wrist...

iSteve

2011-10-06T16:42:00.001+08:00

Dear Mr. Jobs,

Though I do not know you personally, though i may not hav met u in person, or even spoke a word to u before, u hav truely influenced my life greatly.. The way iCommunicate, the way iThink, the way iPlay, iFeel, iTunes, iCloud, iPhone, and many more that iExperience...

R.I.P. great man, u deserve it. Thanks for your wonderful device..

P.S.I

2011-09-29T23:41:00.001+08:00

Haze has been bad, totally dun like neighbours burning forests... We are the ones getting the detrimental externality!! Hello!! But yea, PSI today meant smth else other than the pollution thingy...

Personal Spiritual Index. Thats wat i wanted to refer to.. Is there a way to calculate spiritualality (is there even such a word)?? If so, how? I hav always thought of it as a unity, either 1 or 0... Its either there, or its nt, no room for halfways, no gray areas.. But cell group today brought up an interesting point... Is it possible to 'deny yourself' a little, or to be a little holy? Guess thats wat theologians and wise men are still debating up till this day... With Mankind playing God, making their own choices, deciding their own fate, there is always that option to deny ourselves a little less, take up the cross sometimes, and follow Jesus as and when we feel like.

I love The Big Bang Theory, their jokes are simply hilarious.. But wat struck me was how ridiculous it was to try and calculate and define things that are, in a way, limitless... Science has always tried to quantify subjects, from atoms to thought patterns, but there is always that limit.. How did 5 loaves and 2 fishes feed thousands? There are some things that go beyond the logic of multiplication and division... For a God that created the World out of nothing, that is what science is missing out.. Keep counting, or stop and believe in the supernatural? Choices...

Again?

2011-09-28T16:43:00.001+08:00

Just wanted to check, is there any point going against the doctor's orders? Definitelt right? Think abt it, i can't just waste another 5 weeks using my pathetic left hand while my right hand takes it own sweet time to recover right?

Just makes no sense as to why i hav to get a splint... That means more money, and that sucks... But now it has come to this, 5 more weeks of this... 5 more weeks of inefficiency... What a waste... Oh well, no choice.. right??

School Life

2011-09-26T23:55:00.001+08:00

I use to hear adults grumble all the time abt work life, how it sucks and how they wish to go back to the days where studying was the hardest thing to do.. Well, that was when i was schooling of cos, and naturally i didnt understand much of their rants... I mean, they are actually wishing for the phase in life that i was actually nt enjoying...

5 years down the road, i do know now the pains of adulthood... The need to improve, the competitiveness, the lack of motivation, etc.. It was really better back when i was younger and happier, where the only hard choice i had to make was where to dine.. Nt saying this problem of looking for the perfect dinner location has been solved, rather it has just become less of an issue, with all the other nonsense in life crowding it out...

Guess the road that i hav chosen is the one less taken... Maybe i overestimated myself, dun think i can motivate myself to push thru both work and studies for 7 more months... 1 week was enough to kill... But blame it not on any other factors, but rather on the fact that i wasted my chance to study hard... Now, i just feel like going back to the good old days of school life...

Routine

2011-09-23T00:11:00.001+08:00

Biggest take out of cell today, the word routine... The mindless ploughing through of life, just becos its expected of u... To wake up early, go to work, go to skl, even have fun... Although its gd that some things are habitual, that is done everyday, even without the mood, what matters more is the intent.. Why is the event held in that certain day and time over a constant period of time? Its like trying to explain why we celebrate National Day... To commemorate the day we became independant... Even though we criticise the performance as getting worse every year, singing stupid songs, seeing tax payers money burst into colourful flames, the list goes on.... Main point is, if its to rmb smth impt, it shld always be thought of whenever the routine starts, when the cycle repeats itself... What am i doing this for??

W.O.W

2011-09-21T16:15:00.001+08:00

Not world of warcraft pls, i dun even play that, although many a times i wish i did... Woes of Work was wat i am referring to... Can't understand how ppl can take spending hours after hours, days after days, months, years, and even decades in an office doing the same routine tasks... Maybe momentum is a factor here, the only drive to overcome the inertia of waking up every weekday to join the crowd in the trains... Stopped work for 2 weeks due to the fracture, and i just dun feel like continuing alr... But desperate circumstances (such as an ever depleting bank account) forces one to be rational, and so here i am....

105minutes till the end, for today at least....

White Hand

2011-09-20T22:48:00.001+08:00

2 weeks into bai chiu, the joy of being served is over, its too hard to work with one hand, and the rainy weather is causing pain, on top of the itchiness of nt bathing the hand for half a month...

One more week before the Xray, pls heal quickly....

Mobile

2011-09-20T22:35:00.001+08:00

Now blogging can be done mobile? How convenient... But then again, every other thing has been turned into an app... From coupons to movies, games and even the bible, all in the your palm...

My life has pretty much been controlled by such technology... Although the phone and sms functions are basically ignored (nt many ppl text and call me, i'm a loner thru and thru), i still can't get by without the calendar, email, music, radio, videos, fb, twitter, and now, just maybe, the easier way to blog...

Have been expressing my thoughts and opinions more thru twitter, smth that i mv thought will even come into my life, and fb, THE social network... Dun even touch google plus even thou i hav an acc... blogging just seem to nt be as big a thing to do...

But i maintain this as a diary that i hav nv been able to keep, a spot on the world wide web to call mine.. Till nxt time...

2011-03-08T22:11:00.002+08:00

One question posed by my frens today while on a KOI study break: Will you give up church because of something else? (They specifically asked abt gf la...) Answer? At that moment, wat i said was that i would give up church even if it is not becos of relationship issues... Ok, that sounded bad, lets try again... Church is a seperate entity, one that will not be affected by external issues.. It has been my habit, my ritual, since the time i laid my foot on this planet.. But more importantly, it has been my home, my hiding place, my comfort, the place where i found much joy... If there ever comes a day when i want to give it up, it would be cos i need to, and not by the influence of any other factors....

2011-03-07T18:01:00.002+08:00

Just a random thought... We are supposed to be the Salt and Light of this world.. But how is it even manageable when the world in the 21st century see Salt as unhealthy, and rather live in Darkness than in Light? Just thought of that when eating fries (U know, the REAL unhealthy salt)... Was revising for Sociology just now, and i came across the Marxist view of religion... It was a diff concept, in the fact that it was Humans who created God, instead of God that created Humans... Although it was taught to me since young that God created the Homo Sapiens out of dirt and dust of the earth, there has been an equal and opposite force teaching the exact opposite of the theory extracted from the bible.. That Humans are the one who created God out of dirt and dust seem to be the more rational answer (Seeing the fact that many gods are made of materials of this world, as are the symbols that represent them)... So who is right???

Personal Opinion (And super biased towards Christianity): I believe that I am believing in a true God. A God that lives, not one that is dead.. My God communicates, talks, listens, touches, and do many more physical things that can be considered 'real'... But all in all, i like to believe that my God is an irrational God that created rationality... Take the story of 5 loaves and 2 fish for example... I mean, 5 loaves fed 5000 people, and 7 loaves fed 4000... Ignoring how awesome the miracles are (or how humongous the bread was in the past), the numbers fail to correlate... It's either God loves being irrational, or the Creator of Math is bad at His own subject...

More important than who is right, i guess it would be who is more influential... U can be wrong, but still draw the crowds and make everyone adjust their expectations to your standards... So each to their own opinions, and their own scope of influences... I shall continue to enjoy saltiness...

2011-03-04T08:42:00.002+08:00

Dun play with God, He doesn't joke around.... This mornings' insight is just that, and i am so baffled by how He does all these stuff... Long story short, i was deciding whether to wake up tml morning to start a jogging routine... But the lazy old me was, all in all, the lazy old me... Can't imagine dragging myself out of bed even before sunrise to sweat it out... So i did wat some of my cell members have been doing... I asked God.... So i turned off the 6:30am alarm, and told God that if it was in His favour that i wake up at that crappy hour to jog, that He will personally wake me up... By now u shld hav guessed wat time was reveille....

Think i told Pastor the wrong thing yesterday... Maslow did not hav a triangle structure in his theory of Hierarchy of needs... But i guess it just came out... And that triangle structure seems more like Weber's Bureaucracy... Although without that Greek Temple structure.... Funny how all those management theories start to become at least a little useful in life, when last year all i thought was how bullshit was the whole module...

And yes, there seems to be a structural change going on in the church right now... And change is always hard, esp for the members of the group that change will be applied to... Guess it is inevitable that ppl will be dissatisfied, against it, or even leave the organisation... But if that change is for the better, hopefully the long run positive effects will be able to outweigh the short run negative......

2011-02-22T19:51:00.002+08:00

I totally forgot wat i wanted to blog abt.. Apparently its nt impt enough, thats why i forgot.. So here i am anyway, just wanted to rant and complain abt life... Seems like everything is revolved around money.. Everything that i want to do, need to do, involves money... And the fact is, there is not enough to go around... Talk abt learning econs, we learn all abt the "Budget Constraint", but fact is the constraint dun move around any old how... Prices dun just fall overnight, and angbaos only come once a year...

Time is Money, so is Money = Time?? Guess the person who came up with this sentence/equation really knew what he was talking abt.. Time is limited (24hours.. totally not sufficient), so is money.. But why are we so pressed for both items? We exchange Time for Money, Money for Time, and end up in the grave with neither.... Such a waste of two impt resources... Might as well donate some to me...

But yes, all this ranting will not solve anything... Only getting away frm the com, and actually picking up a book will my grades improve...

2011-02-17T22:42:00.002+08:00

Perfect.. Wat exactly is perfection? Had cell just now, and one of the reoccurring phrase is that perfect people are weird, and the un-weird people are normal.. Watched Black Swan, and the last words of the protagonist was that it was perfect.. Guess she was referring to how perfectly she portrayed her role in the play that she danced in... But ya, it takes a weird person to do a perfect deed..

There was this one person that did things differently. He claimed that he was God, put saliva on a blind man's eyes, kept quiet when asked to talk, talk when asked to keep quiet, carried the cross and died for being innocent. Now this guy is definitely WEIRD.. But if the definition of weird is perfect and vice versa, this guy is definitely perfect to the core... Not that i am encouraging anyone to spit at other ppl eyes, u get my point la...

So wat is perfect? In the context of the world we live in now, being perfect would most prob be not making any mistakes.. To get zero demerit points in a driving test (like how Johan is praying now, i hope), or to get 120/100 for an examination (my lecturer goes on and on and on forever and ever abt bonus marks..). That is the quantification of perfection.. But looking at it from a relative perspective, isn't perfection that little bit more that u do not have? Like it will be perfect if i were to be typing this on a MacBook Pro instead of my mum's Compaq laptop cos my com died (Sorry, fairly pathetic example, cos it would really have been perfect..). Or it will be perfect to get that 1% more just to pass the examination!! In the case, perfection will not be 10 out of 10, but rather that little more that will satisfy us.. So does the problem lie in the dissatisfaction of the human heart over whatever little we have? Or does perfection really matter?

So if Satisfaction is Perfection, how Perfect should someone be before they should be Satisfied? But that's not for someone to think abt after a long day of driving lessons + work + cell...

Revival

2011-02-15T17:18:00.002+08:00

Guess this title fits the post more than anything... Been so long since i ever blogged about something.. Guess when the ways of the world takes over, and people get caught in the endless rat race (wonder why they call it that, why not other nicer cuter animals?), u dun really have the time to sit down and do all these.. By all these, i dun mean thinking of things to blog.. I mean actually sitting in front of the com and typing all these out.. Yes, i'm supposed to glue my eyes to the books now, but glue is bad for the eyes, so maybe i'll continue typing...

Guess Daniel's death brought to light the limited time we have on earth. Every moment so precious, every breath bringing us one closer to our due date. This is one of the main motivations of the me jotting down my life somewhere. Not just for my death, but also for me to look back on, to remind myself of why i am who i am right now.. During the funeral, i was so baffled by an observation.. The greatest moment of a man may not necessarily be when he is alive, healthy, standing at the top of the stage. His greatest moment was in his death, when people remembers him, remembers how impactful his life has been on their own. Truely, it still amazes me to see how work can still be done even when the person has left.

That aside, i just watched 'Black Swan' awhile ago.. Didn't know that it is supposed to be a psychological thriller, isn't it about a swan?? Anyways, the movie taught me that i shld nt stress myself out too much, otherwise i might end up having gay sex with an imaginary friend, and kill myself after that.. What an impt lesson for someone who's totally not willing to put glue in the eyes...

Guess that's it... A post....

2010-06-16T00:56:00.002+08:00

Yes, i guess it has been ages since i last did smth to this blog... Wasn't coz i was uber busy or smth, although it is partially true... I can only say that my life has been through a small roller coaster ride, like the one in Escape theme park... Nt horrendously scary till u pee and shit your pants juz sitting in the ride, but there was movement, no doubt....

So back tracking a lil, i am a student now... I juz finished a series of horrifyingly tough papers and am supposed to enjoy my holiday... That was the plan.... So lets pick things up from the start of holiday part....

Firstly, i got a job... Not as exciting as i hoped, and doesn't pay really well, but wat more can u ask frm a part time desk job? $7 per hour is nt too bad, considering the fact that part of the job scope was to keep that seat warm for 8 hours, with 1 hour of lunch break in between... But get this straight, i feel like i am doing $14 per hour worth of work... Do your maths, u'll understand my workload...

And sadly, althou i wish to go on further, i hav nth left to post... That's all my life... Boring isn't it?

2010-04-05T18:58:00.002+08:00

I woke up today, feeling not quite right... I felt worried, even scared... The stress has set in, its crunch time... One more month to exams, and i'm going to need all the energy, prayer, revision, time, knowledge, u name it... Yes, its finally the moment...

2010-03-30T08:21:00.002+08:00

As promised, here is an update on yesterday... Went for a check up, and doctor said it was probably muscle strain... But i kinda wanted to be sure, so went for x ray as well...

During the "photo shoot", that (not so) nice lady there told me to change to some blue dress, and its quite the weird la... First time wearing a dress u know.. Then took a couple of "photos", and i was out..

Turns out my spine was not shaped normally.. Also dunno how to explain la.. Its like a part of my backbone has been slightly worn out? Doctor said that if that caused the pain, i shld hav been dying in pain for very long le, and not juz recently.. More probable to link it with the fact that i hav flat feet than some back problem... Anyway, she referred me to SGH for some physiotherapy, or i assume is another check up la...

Long story short, pills were given, i feel a lil better now (its not a mental thing, i dun get comforted by the fact that i hav pills to pop)... And ya, life goes on...

2010-03-27T12:22:00.002+08:00

MY BACKACHE IS KILLING ME!! Ok, its official.. I'm going to the doctor's on monday... This can't wait any longer... I thought it was going to get better by itself, but no... The pain is juz escalating... Esp when i had a sneezing fit last night.. I tell u, each time i sneeze, i can literally feel that sharp pain shooting up my whole spine la! Almost went crazy abt the fact that i can't stop either the sneezing or the pain, it was torturous sia....

Anyways, will update if i die in the hospital with back problems...

2010-03-14T23:42:00.002+08:00

Ok, its official... The current record has been broken! The youngest homo sapien i get to lay my hands on is now officially 1 month old! Hahaz, Gracie is so cute!!! Lol, i know, this is super random... But its so cool to hold such a small, fragile, nice smelling baby in my arms... And she is so pretty!! Hahaz, yes, now i feel so much more like the uncle i proclaim to be... No pics, but will upload if i hav any!

2010-03-13T17:31:00.002+08:00

Just realised something... Love can be measured in dollars and cents... I know it sounds a lil weird, and that it is most prob a claim that dun really stand.. But its the first time that i found this subject of irrationality to be measurable, esp with currency that we use day in day out...

Ok, to make things clear... Maybe its not abt how love can be measured.. Even the bible states that love can only be measured if we count all the sand on the beach, or measure how far the east is from the west (which is quite a few mrt stops in singapore context).. But yes, i am surprised, even shocked, at the practicality and rational thinking of the current generation... The issue of money never left us, and never will leave us.. Too little, we fret.. Too much, we fret as well (although i rather fret over having too much money).. Thing is, the Rational Economic Man is not juz an assumption, nor is it only a theory, but more of a fact that we live in everyday..

Ok, this post sounds like a bunch of nonsense... Maybe coz its due to fact that i haven got around much.. Yes, i hav been locking myself at home these past few days, studying (a little), and caressing the keyboard and mouse (A LOT)... And the paintball outing is cancelled! Darn sad sia... All becoz not enough ppl are willing to go there kena shot by me... Hahaz, too bad then...

2010-03-04T17:44:00.002+08:00

My gosh, the weather is practically a killer... Yes, other than the fact that it was reported that Feb was one of the hottest months ever recorded, and that there will be many more of such days to come, all the way till May (whoopie... X_X )

I mean. i can sit right here in front of the computer, with the fan turned on and pointing directly at me, with the natural wind (not mine, the one coming from outside the window) also gushing in, and i can still perspire... That's beyond the limit alr ok... I mean, other than the fact that i hav a layer of fat arnd me which basically means that i walk arnd in a jacket, i guess this is a lil too kua zhang alr rite??

Even as i speak (and type..), the sky seems to be darkening... Maybe there's some rain tonight? Some relief to the relentless heat that beats down on us mortals? Maybe.. My ankle was hurting this afternoon, so maybe... C'mon rain, u can do better than that!!

2010-02-27T17:21:00.000+08:00

ok, today was really a wake up call.. Math and stats cui sia.. Cui may even be an understatement.. So this is UOL exam standard.. The previous months of exercises are purely bullshit... Reality is nowhere near the easy days when i was much younger and happier in the DE program... Now the Diploma in Economics really live up to its name of D.I.E..

This is only the tip of the iceberg... Now is the time to gather whatever remaining forces left and make a dash for the finale... If there is a hell, it is probably filled with past year papers and revision notes...

2010-02-18T09:02:00.003+08:00

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief was good... Better than i expected it to be anyway... Although i still think Mr. Brosnan looks better as a secret agent with a gun in 007, or beach wear stuff in MaMaMia, rather than a centaur with a staff and a permed beard... Seriously, he looks positively weird, if not hilarious...

Back to the main point, Percy Jackson is worth watching... I thought the storyline was ok, although some didn't like it... But the whole movie was pleasant, and has a few funny moments.. Ok, maybe more than a few la, which is why i liked it.. Making crude jokes in the midst of danger, that's the kind of humour la....

Mid way through CNY hols le... Gotta restart the mugging machine... Set the thing running straight all the way till May.... Yay....

2010-02-12T12:06:00.002+08:00

CNY hols is bad.... Holiday will cause holiday mood, which has already set in... And holiday mood is bad coz tests and exams are juz round the corner... And i really haven studied yet... Yes, really haven.. Not haven't really... Meaning i juz left my books there to rot while i soak up the wonderful feeling that there is no skl at 8 in the morning.. Yes, soaking it up on the glorious bed which juz gets more and more comfortable...

Gotta get my act tgt soon... Soon... That word coming out of my mouth (or from my fingers) means that i'll procrastinate and drag things on forever... Soon... wat a dangerous word...

2010-02-09T14:56:00.002+08:00

This is juz a routine post... Life is boring now... Nth much worth talking abt... Other than exams and tests and studying, but i guess that's nt much to mention.. Its still the same.. The waking up early, go skl and complain... Then life goes on and on, and the same thing happens again and again... Didn't know boredom can feel that boring...

2010-02-02T14:20:00.002+08:00

Refilling my com with songs now.. Yes, refilling.. Meaning it is still in continuation... Really amazed as i dug through all my old CDs, searching for any surviving bands or artists that i still appreciate... Came across old time names like Backstreet Boys, Westlife, N'sync, A1, S Club 7, Savage Garden, Blue, Simple Plan, etc.. Guess i really am old.. Kids these days dun even know the BSB's anymore...

Gave my iTouch another chance today.. Tried the forbidden/illegal program on it.. And i guess my iTouch is a Christian as well... So yup, i was once again denied from committing a severe offence and wun get a chance to go to jail... And i give up, some things are juz meant to be... =)

2010-02-01T21:02:00.003+08:00

Sigh, tried to jailbreak my iTouch today... Actually, yesterday... But my home dun hav wireless access, so i waited till today to jailbreak it in skl... Jailbreaked it... Installing vital apps so that i dun hav to pay for future entertainment on my handy device... And then it happened... Yup, it crashed...

Gone are all the songs that are in my possession... Did i mention that i had a new com? And did i mention that song transfers for iTouch is only one way? From the iTunes to the iTouch, but not back.. So yea, appealing for any kindred soul with music to share.. Anything... Otherwise i hav to listen to the groans and sniffs and moans and sighs and yawns of the morning crowd in the train... =(

2010-01-27T08:26:00.002+08:00

Had an outstandingly disgusting dream last night... I literally dreamt that i went thru a whole day of skl.. All the lessons, the lectures, the tutorials... In that dream i took the "Journey to the West" MRT ride to SIM and back, ate all 3 meals, did hw, like i am some studious boy lidat... Then i ended the dream with lying on my bed, drained to the bones...

Woke up immediately after i "slept"... It was only 5am... And now i feel as if its all deja vu... Tiring sia...

2010-01-25T21:54:00.002+08:00

Road block.... I want to, but i juz can't... There's smth stopping me... Like i am running with iron balls attached to my legs... And i juz lose the motivation to carry on...

Woke up at 2 last night, didn't sleep till 6... And woke up at 6.30 to prepare to go skl... And yet i hav enough energy to keep me going all the way till now... SIM has good coffee?? No idea, all i know is that i hav been keeping this up for quite some time... And assuming that this is not a very good habit, or hobby (depending on how it works sometimes), it is actually quite detrimental to one's health... So yes, i shall learn how to go back to slp if i wake up at 2am...

Ya rite....

2010-01-20T17:40:00.001+08:00

Sigh, March and April time table is out.... And yes, there is one sunday, two sunday, three sunday... Three full sundays of lecture and revisions.... How wonderful... I dun even know where to begin.. Should i be glad that the 12k that i spent on education was definitely worth it's value? Or should i start despairing coz its three sundays and one saturday, on top of the usual time table? Dilemma...

2010-01-11T20:18:00.001+08:00

Good News: I got a new com!! =)

Bad News: The com is empty!! So my itouch can only be synced to nothing! No songs, no music... =(

2010-01-10T19:20:00.002+08:00

Someone apologised to me today... For something that the person said... Here's the thing... Thank you... Thank you for telling me that, even though i hav no idea wat was said, and wat was it all abt.. Althou i can more or less guess, its the thought that counts right? So here's to the person, thank you for apologising, and know that u are forgiven..

Its so easy to hav a slip of tongue, so easy to say something hurtful, to do something hurtful... And we often do that without thinking of the consequences, and we enjoy it in certain cases as well... That's normal... We are all human... And human err... We live in a society where a dog eat dog policy is almost certain... Pareto efficiency is almost always achieved... We improve our mood at the expense of another... And others in the expense of ours... So its normal, its alright... As long as u realised it, and make amends... There is use crying over spilt milk sometimes...

Its dark now, and i'm tired from all that soccer... I guess i can accept reality now... It sucks, but yea, so does everything else... =)

2010-01-09T22:02:00.002+08:00

Sigh, when can i start playing the bass like 五月天? I mean seriously, i am stuck... And they're good.. Still a long way there, but dunno where to begin, this is as bad as trying to study econs by reading the newspaper...

Wait, should i be worrying abt that with exams and prelims round the corner? Darn....

2010-01-08T17:38:00.002+08:00

Hahaz, all test results are out... Somehow i managed to pass every single one of them... I'm not saying that it was a surprise or wat, but i didn't think that i will pass every single one of them..
Econs was the paper that was the hardest to pass, but i did, so yup, that was the most "well deserved" pass...
Accounting was a comfortable pass... I knew i was going to pass that, so no worries on that part, juz how well only...
Stats was nonsense... If i fail stats, or even if i barely passed it, it will mean that i really suck at it... Given the fact that it was so easy, ppl like me who didn't even study for it can get 86%, ya... That test was really a giveaway...
IBM was the weirdest... Not that i was not happy to pass it... I mean, althou it was juz a scrape pass, i still passed... Juz that i was ready to fail it with flying colours already.. If i got juz 10%, i wouldn't be surprised... But i passed...

Tests are over... Time to start running the clock... 117 days left, yay....

2010-01-05T19:35:00.002+08:00

Lovely isn't it? Just sums up my QT for the day...

2010-01-04T21:22:00.002+08:00

The bill came... $1,348... That's wat's going to happen in May... Exams in 5 months, can't wait...

This is the 3rd time i am posting something in 2 days... Its either i am really bored, or i hav too much to say but no one's listening.. Either way, its still excessive...

I guess i needed skl in my life... Felt so much better today as i go thru the routine of getting picked on by teachers, laughing and joking with my course mates, getting back my econs test paper (i passed btw)... The hols has took its toll on me.. Maybe its due to me having too much time to think, too much time to consider, to ponder, to wander off into worthless thought... Ppl hav said that i think too much sometimes, and i agree... Some things are actually not so complicated as i imagined it to be.. But simplicity creeps me out.. Like having a one page answer to a 25 mark essay question.. You get the point... But yes, now that i am back in the game, its only a question of when is the nxt time... Well, till then... =)

2010-01-04T08:21:00.002+08:00

The light rain touching my cheeks
The loud music screaming into my ears
How can two totally different, opposing things come together to be so comforting?

I've vent my anger, my frustrations.. Thank God for self control, almost destroyed my com last night when it hanged on me.. Literally.. It was going thru some abuse that i think can wake it up from its hanging habits...

Now its time to move on.. I can't live like this.. Can't sleep, can't eat, this is not me... Save me from myself...

2010-01-03T20:13:00.002+08:00

Today's sermon was enlightening, to say the least... To know that i am not the only one feeling so lost as i step into this new year, to remember that even during these times, that there is a greater being watching over me... Yes, i know... I started this year with the mentality that its juz another year.. I hav nothing in store for me, nothing to look forward to, nothing to work towards, nothing to wish for, nothing. Not that it has changed now.. Nothing's changed.. I still feel that way.. But at least i know that i'm not alone....

Yes, i'm emo now... Can't even gather up my thoughts properly to type watever i wanted to... But yes, i think i am changing... Or rather, i had enough... Enough is enough... Didn't know that emptiness can take up so much space... That nothingness can be so pressurizing.. I felt so alone... Feel so alone... Even though it contradicts the fact that i know that i am not... It juz feels like i am constantly giving, going all out to satisfy others, that i forget that i am human too... But now i remember... I am human, and humans hav feelings... Keeping negative feelings was a wrong choice.. Two negatives dun make a positive, dun believe wat they teach u in math class.. But yes, i think i reached breaking point... Guess i need a friend... Someone to make me feel less lonely... But who cares? No one.

2010-01-01T09:58:00.002+08:00

And so here we are, 2010... A new year full of things yet to be fulfilled.. One of which is the much needed sleep.. Can't believe that i am actually the only person still not sleeping.. The rest has concussed.. So yes, i am forced to look for smth to do, and this is smth to do...

Countdowns are starting to lose its fun factor.. Now its like juz another day, juz that i dun feel like going out to squeeze in the crowd again... My first few hours of this new year was spent with Baby, with L4D, and a bunch of zombies fighting off the Z monster like in L4D... Pardon me, but this is seriously the first time i played L4D.. And it was alr version 2... Didnt even know how the first version was like...

Anyways, 2010 has juz started, and the road is long... Hopefully i will walk a gd walk, run a gd run, and maybe roll a gd roll.. God bless my 2010... And of co yours too:.. :)

2009-12-29T19:31:00.003+08:00

Watched Avatar today, in 3D! Yes, it has been a long time since i said i wanna watch, so i finally did.. The cinema is still so packed despite it being out for quite some time... Anyways, smth really stupid happened in the cinema juz now... I was like walking to my seat "K7", so i saw this grp of friends sitting at the row i am supposed to go to... Then there's this guy sitting on the row K with the number 7 on the top left... As usual, u would think that they sat there on purpose as they wanted a better view or smth, so i went to confront that dude... When i told them that i bought that certain ticket with that certain letter and number with it, they produced an identical ticket showing the identical letter and identical number... THAT, is weird.... For a moment i thought they had printed an extra ticket and that i will once again be forbidden to watch that movie that i wanted to watch for so long... Further investigation with the nice crew of Cathay (the pretty gal giving out 3D glasses at the door) revealed that that poor dude's ticket was for tml!!! Poor thing la, same cinema, same seat, but juz diff day...

Avatar was good, worth that 10 bucks, and i loved one scene.. The one after the humans trashed that humongous tree the blue dudes are living in... Waking up to find yourself in a place where ashes fell like snow... And the 3D effect made it look even better...
And juz to prove that i hav watched one of the most anticipated movies of the year, i quote the most interesting phrase (and lame, as the gal sitting beside me commented), I see you...
P.S: I dun know that gal.... =P

2009-12-28T10:35:00.002+08:00

Route march has juz got a new meaning... At least to me it has... Walking alone frm marine parade all the way to home was not a short walk, not too long either, but it certainly felt like the good old days, with Baby as the field pack, my own back as the rifle... It was no doubt lighter than how it was during the days of green, but it felt juz like it, except i was alone... That fact itself made the whole walk all the more worth the trip...

I know i am aching everywhere now, but i still insist that i was right in attempting the crazy... It gave me time to think, to say the least... To think back on things that happened in the past, and treasure the moments... I know, i must be crazy... But that's me...

2009-12-22T09:31:00.000+08:00

噢買尬　噢買尬　這是一定要的啊　
喝到掛　唱到啞　笑到流淚　哭到趴
噢買尬　噢買尬　真的太久不見啦　
我隨時OK 就等你電話

2009-12-11T14:11:00.004+08:00

I need a personality makeover... Guess i am juz too tired of being a Mr Nice Guy sometimes... I mean, i nv really wanted to be the bad guy.. They always end up twirling a circle and exploding in every single power ranger episode i watched since young.. So ya, no way am i going to be the bad guy.. Or shld i?

I am actually a very bad tempered person.. Not many ppl know that.. The only ppl i think that rmb are the teachers in sunday skl when i still attended it.. And even they think that i changed.. No, i dun think i changed.. I still get pissed easily, its juz a matter of showing it or not.. My mask is pretty inelastic, i can still smile despite all the nonsense happening to me. I can joke abt things that ppl say abt me, things that make me so angry.. And i guess the only thing that keeps me alive, keeps the bottle from overflowing, keeping the mask from cracking is coz i've grown into it.. This mask fits so well now that i juz dun feel like taking it off ever again.. Let me be batman forever, and bruce wayne be no more.. Let the real me be slowly absorbed into this new character, absorbed till its nothingness..

As you can see, its a very personal thing, the previous 2 paragraphs all started with "i".. But there are many other factors to consider, many other characters in the game, other actors and actresses on the stage.. All these useless rants are therefore void, the show must go on, and i will continue being "myself"... Question is, who am i?

2009-12-08T19:13:00.002+08:00

Darn, wat's happening to me... It's 1 week before tests, and the drive, the motivation, the urge to study is nt here.... Its a crisis... I miss the "me" one month ago, who panicked over tutorials, and will start flipping notes if i dun understand one tiny concept... Now i'm only thinking of excuses of nt studying... And yes, my brain is wonderful when it comes to excuses...

Really can't wait for Dec to come and go... All the things that are abt to happen, like christmas, outings, catching up with old time friends.. All the things nt done yet, like writing christmas cards (seriously dun feel like doing it alr), and many more... Christmas mood is in the air ladies and gentlemen, so enjoy it while you can... Sigh, i dun even understand why i can't get excited over anything these days....

Maybe my vision has become blurred, i needa refocus....

2009-12-05T14:53:00.002+08:00

Had a weird "dream" this morning.. I "dreamt" that my hp alarm went off... Its those kind of irritating alarm, the car alarm sound that has an ascending volume... So that alarm rang... I tried to turn it off, but the phone wun unlock itself... I tried again, and again, and again.. But the phone stayed locked, preventing me from turning off the alarm.. And the volume was increasing the whole time, so i guess it was uber loud alr.. I kinda gave up unlocking the phone, so i pulled off the charger, opened the back of the phone, and killed the phone by taking the battery out... That instant that i did that, i realised that i wasn't dreaming... It was real....

Kids are so interesting... That is wat i think after spending 3 nights watching them sleep comfortably while i fight the Z monster.... Conclusion? Kids think that the older they get, the less sleep they shld get... The younger kids will willingly obey simple commands like "go to bed and sleep"... But as they age, they tend to think that they shld get less sleep.. Not that they need less sleep.. They will want to sleep later than the younger ones, even thou they are dead tired, juz so that they can prove that they are old enough... Interestingly, that was my observation of kids... I know it was random, but i couldnt resist putting up such stuff here...

Slept for less than enough for that few days camp, and i guess its a job well done... Now its time to catch up with wateva sleep that i hav missed out(if 7 hours are needed a day, than i need 17 hours more), as well as the tutorials and assignments that hav started piling up... And tests are in 11 days time... Yay...

2009-11-29T22:47:00.002+08:00

Is your bucket full? I guess that's the most impt question that i learnt to ask myself.. I realised that for certain occasions, i hav been serving with all my heart and all my strength and with all my soul... But its all my efforts, and none of that came from the source of spiritual energy, our Father in Heaven... And as the spiritual "battery" slowly gets depleted, i found myself asking why... Why am i still here? Still stuck in this neverending viscous cycle of life... And the fact is that i am already flat, a dead man walking....

I thank God for the chance to get to GLS, to know that its impt to hav a full bucket, and knowing how to fill the bucket as well.. It was so different to wake up with a "full bucket", to go around knowing that your battery is fully charged and you're so geared up to go.... It was such that, not even saturday classes were daunting enough...

Now for question 2, what is your bucket filled with? =)

2009-11-25T08:17:00.002+08:00

i think i'm going crazy... last night i dreamt of myself in one of the classes that i hav.. and i didnt do my hw... and the rest goes on abt me being punished for nt doing tutorials, me having to stay back and finish it etc, before i finally hear my alarm and wake up.. my first thought when i woke up? i thanked God its a dream... i know, that sound so unlike me.. that sounded more like a mugger's dream... but i am dreaming it!!! i guess i am really transforming...

my mum is the cutest la... let me tell u wat she did... do u know the words "eau de toilette" on every single perfume bottle? yes, go and check this fact before carrying on reading this... ok, welcome back! as u know, those are some foreign language, most prob french, but its definitely nt one that i understand.. and i am too lazy to check the actual meaning of it.. fast forward to some afternoon when i got home frm skl.. my mum came into my room and told me that my air freshener smells very strong, and that she wants to know wat it was.. she said she used it on the toilet to freshen it up, coz there is a word "toilette" on it, thus the assumption... and the rest you can guess... not too much was wasted thou, juz a few sprays la, but who knew mothers think that way? =)

2009-11-16T08:07:00.002+08:00

Watched an episode of flash forward last night.. Such an interesting episode it was... The whole plot was nicely set, and i was so captivated by it.. Imagine u know the future. What would you do? Some accepted their fate, and will do nth and juz wait for the future to unfold. Some grief over what will happen, and try to run away from it. And there are those few that actually fight it, thinking for a moment that they can change the future... Which type of person are u?

I need a com.. The itouch has limitations, severe enough to impede my education, entertainment, and lifestyle as a whole... But dun get me wrong, i am still using the touch now, its the only form of technology that allows me access to the www now...

Dang, i need a life...

2009-11-10T17:08:00.002+08:00

Random post.....
Current position: Macdonalds Tampines
Reason for blogging: Juz felt like it, since my com is down and i can't do it frm home.. So might as well...

Today is like my first time buying tissue frm a disabled by the street.. I wasn't out of tissue or anything, juz felt like buying.. Can anyone explain this strange phenomenon? Anyway, i bought it frm this nice lady that smiled ever so sweetly when i went to her for tissue.. She added some small balloon shaped like a green apple (which i can't show coz i can't take pictures and load them up). But anyway, i juz thought that it was so sweet that she took the extra effort to make something to giv along with the tissue.. Trust me, i dun usually do that.. I always thought that as long as they still hav a pair of hands, they shld work and not sell tissue, so i wun buy frm them... Today was an exception... I wonder why.... But its a good deed, right? =)

2009-11-02T19:10:00.002+08:00

Hmm... Love the smell on my hand... The smell after cutting a soft, juicy and sweet australian mango.... How lovely....

I kinda respect poly students today.. Or at least, i understand their plight when they say that they ended up with a terrible grp of ppl to work with, or that they cannnot work with their grp etc.... Had a lil taste of an un-cooperative grp, and i guess i gotta do a lil more work to cover everybody's asses.... So ya, i can finally relate.....

2009-11-01T22:48:00.002+08:00

The past is a horrible ghost... Once in a while, it likes to come back to haunt you... Through mediums that you would least expect... And for me, it juz feels like my past has crept up slowly, catching up, engulfing, taking over, absorbing and eating me... So much so, i can't do anything but to go with the flow... The flow of negative emotions.... The 'what if's, the 'maybe's, the 'i should have's and the 'i shouldnt have's.... Yes, i know its the past, and i shld throw down these burdens and continue on with life... But sometimes they grow legs, and follow you... They grow chains, and cling on you... Dragging you down, making you look back, making you stop and wonder how did the past connect with you... The past is a phantom...

Listening to music frm jay chou's movie... Love piano pieces... At least those that are playing... They display so much emotion... To the untrained ear, it is juz music.... But i deem it more... Its an outright burst of emotions... With brilliant flashes of joy, to the darkness of sorrow... Music and life, how similar can they get?

2009-10-28T09:30:00.003+08:00

Watched "Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs" yesterday, in 3D! Hahaz, seems like forever since i last saw a movie.. So ya, went with yiyin and ruijia to watch food being thrown all over the place.. Loved it la, maybe other than the fact that the food looked so wonderful, it kinda looked disgusting... You know, too much of a gd thing can be quite bad, even disastrous....

My fav scene, that spaghetti tornado thingy... =P

2009-10-20T18:51:00.003+08:00

Define happiness.. I juz dun seem to be able to keep my spirits up recently, and dun ask why.. If i knew, then i would hav already done smth abt it... And i feel fake... I can still joke arnd, still laugh, still smile.. But that smile is juz too surface level, doesn't come from within....

And as if life is nt sad enough, skl's nt helping... Piling hw on top of us juz after the test is nt going to motivate me to study any more than i did previously, but somehow i guess there's no choice? Moving on with econs, ending maths in a months time, starting stats in a months time, trying to understand new business strategies, still trying to understand accounting....

And guess wat? I think i'm gonna call iBen as Guru from now onwards.... Apparently someone accused me of copyright, and i think so too.. Too many ppl using the letter "i" in front of their stuff... And reason why i chose Guru? No idea, juz got hooked onto the word recently... Well, the thought is still processing, at least until i find a way to change the name without having to click that "restore original settings" button...

2009-10-19T12:47:00.000+08:00

i am blogging... from skl!! yes, new gadgets calls for new experiences, and blogging in skl is one of it... anyway, interesting point of skl today.. i didnt get negative marks in econs! i actually got 3 out of 25, 3 more marks than i expected to get.. sad news? i only got 3 marks... its nt like i got 20 marks, and got 17 deducted... i got no points deducted, so its a total of 3 that will be shown in my report card.. negative marks are nt shown in the report, so if a guy gets -10 coz he scored 10 but got 20 marks deducted, the report card will only show the 10.. so i got 3... and i am nt happy... at least, nt as happy as i expected...

2009-10-14T15:20:00.003+08:00

Yes, my dear friends.... Let me sing u a song.... Happy days are here again! Hahaz, as quoted from Syed, 2009. Tests are finally over! Still hav to chiong assignments thou, but still, its a thing worth celebrating...

Tested and tried, iBen the iTouch is ready for life! Muahahahaz, look out hot spots, here comes iBen!

2009-10-12T15:02:00.003+08:00

I guess it really has been a while since i last sat for any tests or exams... No, those army underslung commander tests, army driving tests and STO tests dun count, although those were hard as well... No, today is econs test... Its more mentally challenging, and time was nt of the essence.. Its of coz over, and i was quite glad its over... Nt bcoz i did well, trust me, i didnt even hav time to think, once the pen was on the paper, its scribble all the way till the end... No, i guess i'm relieved that 1/4 of the stress is off my chest, and i can focus on the 3/4 left...

I'm gonna get myself an iTouch tml... Like finally.... Dunno whether its the right decision thou, my parents are so against it, and they want me to spend money wisely, like on a laptop rather than the iTouch.... Argument? I dun find it comfortable plugging my earphones into the laptop and carrying it arnd in the MRT on my way to skl (unless its a Mac, which i could hav used up ALL my money to buy)... So there u hav it. Unless some Godly power or a series of unfortunate events stop me from buying it, it'll be in my hands by this time tml... =)

2009-10-09T22:36:00.002+08:00

I'm eroding.... Physically... Mentally... Sometimes i wish i dun hav to think so hard, so much.... Would rather be ignorant, or be foolish... When i start to trouble yourself over "simple" things, simplicity itself seems to evaporate, leaving the rubble of negativity that, for some unknown reason, was wat i expected to see... That debris was the cause, yet instead of moving away from it, i dwell in it, making it an inseparable part of me... I make myself the container, bottling up wateva i need to, not showing it much, unless a lil of it overflows.... Now, it juz overflows.....

2009-09-30T08:55:00.002+08:00

Why? Why must such tragedy and sadness befall me? Shit la, i am NEVER EVER going to that pathetic barber again.... Who in the right mind would pay $10 to get ridiculed for a whole month (considering the fact that hair grows fast enough to recover in a month..) This is a total fiasco.....

2009-09-28T18:19:00.003+08:00

Had monday blues... For several reasons, which will be listed down later... Totally need Yahweh to be in my life more than evermore... =)

Reason number one:
I realised that I will be spending more time with Baby this week, more than ever... Monday: Practice for 1st October CHC event, Tuesday: Practice for Sze Min's wedding, Wednesday: Practice for Prayer Meeting, Thursday: CHC event, Friday: Prayer Meeting, Saturday: Wedding + Worship Practice, Sunday: Worship.... That effectively made my longest streak of playing with Baby, a record of 9 days, including the previous weeks practice and worship.... Not that i dun like Baby, dun get me wrong, i still love her very much, but its juz tiring ya? Nt doing it, juz thinking abt it makes it tiring alr...

Reason number two:
Had a miny econs quiz in lecture today.... Was a test out of 10... I didnt get the highest marks, nor was i the lowest... But i hav to say that the result was quite shocking.... Got -30 marks.... Yes, that negative sign is supposed to be there, no typo.... -30/10 is nt exactly a reasonable grade i want to recieve for my first ever econs test in my entire life, so u get the picture.... DEMORALISING.....

Reason number three:
Just becoz its monday... Actually there are only 2 reasons, but isn't that more than enough to spoil the day, and the week along with it?

2009-09-23T22:19:00.002+08:00

I love "Who's Line Is It Anyway?".. Its absolutely therapeutic... Lets me laugh the day's headaches away... I recommend at least 5 youtube clips a day, another 5 if u are having a really bad day.. Laughter is not the best medicine, but it's still quite effective for curing certain negative emotions...

Watched Gamer yesterday... Nice movie, definitely worth the money i paid... The movie was more or less portraying reality a few years into the future, when technology is not juz an iTouch, but a room which walls are made of iTouch... And that sin is basically a form of entertainment... It is a lil disturbing, knowing that although its juz a movie, society is actually heading that exact same direction... Anyway, go watch it... The ending's horrible, everything is rushed out, not well done, shld hav taken the time to progress the ending in detail... But still, a nice movie....

Went to City Harvest Church for the first time in 21 years... Humongous.. Even has some waterfall thingy outside... But ok la, didn't feel intimidated by the size or anything... Baby was singing so loud that they keep telling me to lower the volume.. For those who dunno wat Baby is, too bad.... Baby sang wonderfully that night... =P

Still hooked to the song from Sunday sitting, juz listening.... One Last Cry... Feels that i can relate to the song.... Still I sit, all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone.... I guess I'm down to my last cry....

2009-09-18T19:42:00.002+08:00

Sigh, its friday, but my week has not ended yet... To put it frankly, it feels like its juz begun... The piles of work is staggering, and i am in no condition to touch any of them... And there is tutorial tml.... Yes, tml is a saturday.... That's why i am whining and complaining abt it... Saturdays are days where u try to catch up with sleep, and wateva tutorial and assignment work that u needa scribble thru.... Now? Lecture on friday, tutorial on saturday... Dun even hav any time to do that bloody tutorial... Juz planning on doing impromptu stuff again, like wake up tml morning and do... But of coz, rational ppl like me will know that its pointless, and i would be wasting time, and paper.... Darn, better get back to my books alr....

2009-09-15T15:16:00.003+08:00

Bought my first ever pair of berms today (actually, is first 3)... Didn't know that the rule of less material costs more applies to berms, thought they only belong to female wear, like their tops costing less than a bigini (quoted frm our dear ms sg)... But anyway, went to bugis today and did some shopping... And the ppl over there really underestimated me(or over estimated, depending on how u look at things)... Yes, some guy even gave me a size 32 to try.... Aren't i obviously 36 and above? But hey, its a compliment right? So i try nt to complain abt it la....

Anyway, i bought one pair at BMG, or BGM, or wateva combi of the 3 letters, that cost $47... After which, i went to bugis street, and bought 2 pairs at a cost of $25... According to my econs lecturer, i actually bought inferior goods, so i was wondering whether its a gd decision or nt... But i realised that there are many other factors affecting the decision, so wateva is above this sentence was juz nonsense.... Ok, i'm crapping...

Skl's tough, and getting tougher still... I'm trying to catch up, but that was last week... So now i'm still trying to catch up, with a longer distance now... And nxt monday being a public holiday is supposed to help la... Hopefully i can get as much info into my rusty brain as possible... Seriously need some oiling alr... Not the body mind u, otherwise i can't wear that size 36 berms, oil the brain, let it work faster already...

2009-09-07T19:04:00.002+08:00

Sigh.... So sad.... Sad sad news...... The korean babe is nt in the same tutorial grp as me.... =P
Which, fortunately, is also good news... Her tutorial grp starts lesson at 5, compared to mine which is an hour earlier...

But that's not the point... Today, an amazing thing happened! It was so rare ok! Serious! Ok, are u ready for it???? I think u can guess the answer alr la, i always exclaim when i do it... I STUDIED!!!!! Wow rite? I think so too! I wrote like 3 essays today la!! Such a rare phenomenon!!

Ok la, truth is that the break between my morning lecture and the tutorial is 5 and a half hours long... And it was a seriously long 5 hour wait la... After lunch, i kinda juz sat down and did my work lo.... I had 5 hours to try the qns anyway.... IBM (which stands for introduction to business and management) was a major killer of brain cells.... Apparently this subject is nt limited to the 5kg notes that he dished out for us... Its a topic so wide, only the newspapers and news on the internet can suffice the basic information that we require to even start writing essays that gets ticks instead of crosses....

But the most impt point, i survived the day.......

2009-09-01T13:13:00.002+08:00

Sigh, a year older... Wat a sad fact... Ok, 21 is still nt a very big number, so i guess life will still continue as usual.... Its comforting (and of coz fun) to know that there are so many ppl out there that still rmb my bday, even though i tend to forget it sometimes... Thnx to all that celebrated pre birthday with me, and as well as the post birthday celebrations too (a lil ambitious, but i know there are loads of ppl that LOVE me, and want to celebrate my bday, rite? =P)..

Started this first day of the 21st year of my life by dropping my phone... Its nt an expensive one, can take quite a beating, so its no big deal.. Except that my phone started throwing tantrums, like auto restarting, auto turning off, etc... U know, the typical spoilt phone.... But ya, at least it has vented its anger alr, so its back to normal...

Maths lecture was enjoyable today, to say the least... The lecturer is some local indian guy, but reminds me so much of my dear sec skl maths teacher, mr johnny joseph!! He's quite the humourous guy la, keeps telling us nt to be afraid, giving stupid comments, and making the entire 3 hours a little less boring...

Had a chance to test out the new WATER PROOF NIKE BAG... Dunno wat its actually called, but ya, it works... My homework is still dry, which means i still hav to do them.... Darn.....

2009-08-26T17:26:00.002+08:00

Had the best UNPLANNED orientation today! Well, its either unplanned, or the plans were really cock up... Spent the day under the sun, talking to ppl i seen b4, but nt talked to, to ppl i hav no idea who they were in the first place, and of coz to familiar faces... Its interesting how ppl get tgt in a grp... Group identity is impt, and i guess the identity of my grp is "slack"? It was more or less a one for all, all for one thing... When certain games come up, ppl disappear to the toilets, or juz hung arnd looking like they were kicked out of the game.. There was even one game that almost all of us (except a small grp, which eventually won) juz kicked ourselves out, knowing that there will be no benefit staying in the game anyway...

I saw the PTI that appears in my, and many of my BMT mates, nightmares... Yes, the purely evil PTI who refers to himself as Jackson... I'll forever rememeber that name... The torture he put us through, the malicious laughter he has, the aura of trickery, i didnt know wat to say when i saw him... Thank goodness he wasn't my OGL, otherwise i guess i will be doing 30min lunges again...

And guess wat? This was the first time such a large grp appeared for orientation! Yes, all the DE students of '09 are so enthu la... There was a game where they provided a rope for all of us to hang on to... After realising the numbers that were swarming in, and was still swarming in, they had to provide 2 more ropes (and one more after a while, which makes it 3) for us so that everyone has a lil rope to cling on to.... So i guess, after the extra 3 ropes, that they were only expecting half, or even less, of the number of ppl to appear? Shld hav made their day, grant them their wish... 270 ppl in a small compound wasn't exactly ideal, but its the best they can provide, i guess...

Oh ya, we played the squirrel and tree game, the exact one we played in Shanghai... And the OGL didnt know how to give the instructions, and i kena the arrow... Seems like dejavu, we played the squirrel and tree game, and also captains ball (although i hav to admit, i liked the version we played)... Super sunburnt/tired/sleepy/aching/(and wateva u can think of, juz fill in the blank) now... But i guess its all a matter of perspective? Ya....

2009-08-24T00:18:00.002+08:00

Was going home via MRT juz now, with the wonderful creation of portable music stuck high up into my ears.. Listening to Christian songs on a Sunday night... Got lost in the wonderful aura the music is giving out, wondering how its possible for them to pour out so much power into their song.. So lost, i started singing... Only started, mind you.... I didnt exactly sing like a Singapore Idol, but it was bad enough... And i chose the word "hallelujah" of all the words... Kinda caught midway thru the word, with only the "ha-" escaping my mouth... So paiseh lo! But at the same time, so ironic... Juz this afternoon, we were playing and singing that we are not ashamed of God's name... Not ashamed, not ashamed, repeated it over and over again... But those were empty words with nice music to accompany it, i felt... I can't even sing hallelujah without feeling concious of the fact that hundreds of pairs of eyes may juz pierce me thru... Wat is the true meaning of being a true worshipper? Truth is as much as we percieve it is, and only by believing and knowing it can we be set free...

Went to Challenger today to get a new mouse! Hahaz, wireless some more! Now my new mouse has a wheel on top instead of at the bottom, optic lazer to replace the once unsensitive wheel, and a workable left click button! Yes yes, its juz a mouse.. But being the procrastinator, it took me like a few months b4 i finally got a new mouse... Didnt know shopping for a mouse was so difficult... According to the ppl who went with me to get electronics (juz one in particular), the mouse is so hard to choose.. Muz hav the correct size to suit your palm and length of fingers. Muz choose between wired, wireless, or retractable wires. And the colour must be right. Not juz colour, the shade of that colour, the design muz be correct (no heart shapes or floral designs), etc.... Guess shopping isn't really my forte? =)

Crash course

2009-08-21T07:59:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the day when i crashed 2 lectures in NUS, heard 2 diff cheena lecturers drone on abt their stuff, and doodle on my notebook... Not that its nt interesting, it was... Maybe i wasnt too used to studying after so long? Or it could juz be them...

Anyway, i thought psycho was such an interesting topic.. At least the lecture on trauma was... The lecturer was somewhat hilarious, other than the part that she didnt meant it to be funny... She said tons of interesting stuff, like how learning abt trauma is traumatic.. At this point, i seriously believed her, coz this lecture abt trauma was definitely a traumatic exp.. Not that she meant it that way of coz... Also, she talks like she had tons of exp with the topic, which was supposed to be expected... But she sounds positively traumatic, like she is really suffering frm the disorders she was talking abt... U know, being easily irritable, thinking back abt past events that shook her life, etc la....

Mr MuTong wasnt much better... He's also cheena, also says jokes without realising, except his was boring.. His slides no pictures one.. And he loves dark places, or he juz wants to save electricity and Gaia... Anyway, that CAM lecture was so much on stats that the only thing i ever absorbed was MuTong... Yes, juz this 2 words....

Conclusion? Cheena teachers like to go out of point.... Like REALLY out.... Once they start on a certain topic that they like (for e.g., traumatic events like an accident in NUS, or the syllabus of TCM in china), they start pouring out grandfather/mother stories and get totally off track... Now that's really traumatic... =)

2009-08-14T20:54:00.005+08:00

Was reading through and editing the YEP reflection of all the members in the team.. Its surprising how diff our mindsets are when we wrote our individual reflections.. What mattered to us, what was the main lesson learnt, etc... So enlightening to see the diff views (all 16 of them) of our lives spent well in a foreign land, how some prefer to talk abt wooden boards as matteresses, while others preferred the toilet issue... What everyone nv fail to leave out, is of coz the major crisis, with the capital C, that we faced during the short stay.. Guess problems and situations can either make or break the team, and ours made it for the better.. Such a powerful reminder of how we managed to break through, nt juz the sceptic views of the ppl watching us work, but also our own shell of expectations.. We didnt expect much, but we were given more than wat we asked for, and that's wat really mattered.. =)

2009-08-08T22:12:00.003+08:00

Went to makan at Seoul Yummy today... Realised that it has nth related to Seoul Garden, which was quite a relief... Had korean food for dinner, which includes a fantastically weird tasting roasted barley tea, bimbimbab (think i spelt that correctly), and an assortment of side dishes and nibbles that were pleasant tasting.. Topped the whole thing off with a frozen yougart dessert, loved that... And of coz, the company was wonderful.. Who said 4 guys can't go out and chill tgt? =P

2009-08-03T22:48:00.002+08:00

Nostalgic feeling
Obsession of the com
Never ending sian-sation
Sanity deficit
Everlasting boredom
Nodding off
Silent scream
Elegant exit

=)

2009-07-29T22:30:00.002+08:00

Sigh, the Fan Choy in the coffeeshops are shrinking... They used to be a juz nice serving for breakfast, the one with the aluminium foil and paper cover.... Now all that is left is plastic ones... I miss the old types.. Still remember how i enjoyed them in the army, eating the plate of lightly peppered glutinous rice, served with sweet slices of steamed meat, a sunny side up egg, topped off with some dark soya sauce to enhance the taste (Or u can call it Fan Choy plus egg)... Now i dun think i can get the same type of breakfast in camp alr... Lucky i ORD liao sia....

Had a recent craving for M&Ms.... Read it in some book, abt someone being addicted to chocolates.. The nxt thing i know, M&Ms flooded into my brains, and i have eaten like one pack of peanut M&Ms a week.. Peanut M&Ms coz they are bigger and crunchier... =P

Ok, i know this post is random, but i practically need smth to fill my life with more colours, hence the M&Ms... =)

2009-07-26T23:01:00.002+08:00

I realised that i am very critical... maybe a lil too much sometimes... Like when i talk abt the liverpool vs singapore match juz a lil while ago... Sitting in front of the tv, all i can say is that our SG players were bold and brave, to get onto the pitch knowing they are going to get a thrashing, even thou they fought damn well... Or when i said that Lionel Lewis is gonna throw face when he gets subbed on, juz bcoz he is up against one of the top strikers in the world... I even thought that the liverpool players (the unknown ones) were trying to make an impression by playing with such wayang and garang-ness against the home team...

Not being a liverpool fan, i hav nth to say to them... But to the home team, well done! They held off a team so strong (i think they only went a lil mad at the last 10min, when alonso came on board), and it was nt like the usual 11-0-0 formation that we used when we are up against strong teams... They attacked, defended, and occasionally did fantastic tackles on the players frm across the globe.. Some had poor clearances, some pathetic passes, but hey, they played good...

And whoever talked abt nt walking alone has to seriously get the act together... Torres looked so lonely on the pitch... And how did i know that? The cameraman (or woman) was seriously in love with/infatuated by/obsessed with/addicted to him...

Memoirs of a Virgin... =P

2009-07-22T22:15:00.004+08:00

Ok, b4 u get the wrong idea, i did NOT lose my virginity.. This is juz a day where 5 ppl (yiqi, shuqi, gabe, calvin, and the one typing this out) went out on their virgin experiences to diff places... And yes, i guess i dun get arnd too much, coz there are too many places i didnt go to, but lets get to the story..

We met at Vivo early in the morning (11am is considered early, coz ppl were late)... Watched calvin eat his brunch, found out that there were 2 ppl wearing black, 2 wearing white, and another in green (gray would hav been perfect, but still...) And we set off on our trip on cal's car..

Virgin Experience 1:

First stop was How Par Villa, and we went thru HELL of a time, literally.. It was my first time there, so talks abt dragon heads between sq and cal didnt amaze me at all, and all i know is that its gone, thats the most amazing fact abt it so far... Saw weird statues, esp the animal with human heads, or human with animal body.. Either way, its juz damn weird, they can attach a head to literally anything... And a few life lessons learnt, an ugly duckling will grow up to be an ugly goose, and that mermaids aren't pretty at all...

Went thru 10 levels of hell (the rest of the 8 are under renovation), and then we were out.. Couldnt say i loved hell, coz that would make God angry, but it did show why the chinese culture turns out to be the way it was...

Btw, we found a really interesting roundabout at How Par Villa, which sparked off interests abt roundabouts, but that's another story...

Went to a few places to view cars.. Or to put it correctly, turned into the carparks and out, coz of some lame reason that i forgot. We arrived at IKEA to consume the ever lovely Swedish meatballs... After filling the stomach, its time to move on...

Virgin Experience 2:

Not really the first time, but ya, we went to Fort Canning to stroll, and the weather was pleasantly warm.. Nt too hot and humid mind u, juz nice... That is if u dun plan to walk one big round on Fort Canning to see the (closed off) reservoir and the ROM ("which was so near we are on it, can touch it, etc.." claims cal)... But it was my first time seeing the grave, or wateva it is, at the park, with millions of pigeons there... Well, that's all for the Fort Canning, coz yq was complaining that only old ppl enjoy these things...

This was the 2nd experience with roundabouts, with gabe, cal, and me still interested with it.. But at the expense of Yq, she was allergic to them (or smth like that...)

Virgin Experience 3:

Stopped by at a random carpark in SGH to decide where to head nxt.. Spent tons of time deciding where to go (even till the point we discussed wat to do on friday), and finally decided on going to whampoa gardens for some fruits..

Then here comes the 3rd roundabout, where only gabe was still interested in making a full round.. Sadly, he's nt the driver and can't call the shots, so the roundabout was nt completed here...

Virgin Experience 4:

Went to grab a slice of honeydew each, and an extra, a piece of jelly for me (coz cal insisted the jelly is nice.. dun get me wrong, it was nice, juz that i tasted better ones... =P). While at it, we decided to go Swee Lee, juz to entertain me and go there see guitars... Gabe wasn't particularly interested, and i know why... Due to certain reasons, this reason cannot be published.. But yes, we moved on... Decided on Mt Vernon, coz rumour has it that the tombstones are gone... The cemetery has been changed to a park...

Went PASS Mt Vernon... The rumours were only half true, ends up the park was nth but grass and a path nt covered by it (the grass).. Maybe that's the definition of a park? But since there's nth much to see, we went on to SA village...

Virgin Experience 5:

My first time seeing SA Village up close, but we only passed it... Had our Saint in the car telling us the story of the village, and the story of a guy with a love for his village, or smth like that... Only rmb "Ups & Ons" abt the place, althou the S after the Up and On are my own doing...

Virgin Experience 6:

Went to the Salvation Army!! Ok, it was my first time, so i had no clue wat to do there either... Heard that many ppl do their shopping there during new year and christmas, and that gals spend their money there... Anyway, they were closing, and we got chased out, so we kinda went? Ya.... And this is the place where gabe promised me a computer mouse with a wheel on top and none below.. And with a working left click button, coz mine juz went bonkers...

Virgin Experience 7:

Our last stop, we went to a dead end, did a 3 point turn, and started cam whoring... In the car... That was b4 cal dropped us off at our respective locations and life became BORING again...

Oh ya, did u see the eclipse today? Apparently i did, the clouds eclipsed the sun, causing the land to be quite dark this morning... Who says only the moon can cover the sun?

2009-07-20T10:18:00.002+08:00

Hahaz, had a request to take noise off my blog.. Totally agreed, unless the song plays from start to end, its juz noise... Anyway, Santa gave out early presents this year, and the pocky is finished! Yay! Gd job ppl, hope you enjoyed wateva lil things that we can bring back frm Shanghai! =)

2009-07-13T10:58:00.002+08:00

Back! Can't imagine how much i miss SG! Esp the chicken rice, the hokkien mee, etc... Life in Shanghai was wonderful, apparently Chinese in china are very hospitable, so i dun think i lost any weight at all, maybe even gained.. But after touchdown, after waking up from a deep slumber, i am beginning to miss Shanghai, already...

I miss:
The "木板" matteress that i slept on for the past 2 weeks
The 豆浆油条 breakfast in the morning
The other breakfast menu items (蛋饼，麻球，锅贴，etc...)
My handmade 胶子.. =)
Walking down 德平路 to 罗山会馆
Jason's early morning "singing in the bathroom"
The lemon green tea and minute maid orange that everyone always drink
The early morning sun at 4-5am
The chinese accent and 上海话(which i classify under gibberish)
The 网吧, and the chinese CS and dota inside (火在洞里面!)
Having beer on the table almost every meal.. (other than breakfast)
The exotic dishes that we had. e.g. turtle, pigeon...
The children that we taught during the 3 day camp
The children that taught us during the 3 day camp
The YEP team

Yes, it has indeed been a memorable, life changing exp... I hoped we had made an impact as big as how the Shanghai YMCA described, being history makers, making a breakthrough in a foreign land... I can go on forever abt how the trip was, abt the tiny lil details that are so memorable, we can sit back and laugh at it over and over again... But i think the main point is that through this 14 day in china, we had seen God work in us, be it when we are serving the children, the YEP, our ourselves, we really experienced the fact that we can do all things thru He who strengthens us... And that, is the most impt lesson learnt..=)

2009-06-28T23:20:00.001+08:00

Less than 9hrs to take off... Less than 9 hrs to commencement of Agape Hope '09... Huat ah! =)

2009-06-26T18:41:00.002+08:00

R.I.P MJ, that seems to be the topic of the day... And a few more days to go... Wasn't a big MJ fan, barely listened to his songs, so can't say much other than he's one rich guy...

Watched Transformers 2 today, and many thanks to gabe for the warning... The show is nearly 2.5 hrs long, and i was holding my pee in till the very end... Thought that it was quite interesting, heroes always has to fall, and then come back to save the day.. Esp movies like narnia and transformer 2, the hero died and rose again... Reminds u of a certain hero ya? =p

2009-06-25T09:15:00.003+08:00

Hahaz, 12 days of freedom finally over... Can't rmb wat i did for the last 3 days.. Juz went by in a blur.. But fact is, the 12 days were worth it.. So fun, relaxing, and basically bo che-eng hu (hokkien for no government..) So sad when this has to end... But no matter, will be flying off in 4 days time... And i haven even packed yet!!!!!!!

2009-06-22T00:36:00.002+08:00

On the 9th day of freedom I gave this to myself....
9 sets of clothes (to wash...)
8th 升高 key
7 Kopiko Sweets
6 升高 key
5 Disney movies
4 brain-dead singers
3 hours of sleep
2 plates of fried rice
& a reason to post it on my blog

Woo... Time flies... One Love Conference came, and One Love Conference went, leaving a trail of destruction (or rather, creation) in its path... Nt saying anything bad abt One Love of coz, juz that i hav spent so many hours on One Love, and nth else, i kinda hav alot of work leftover thats not done... Alot of housework.... Clothes to wash, floors to vaccum and mop, toilet bowls to scrub, the usuals la... That explains the 9 sets of clothes.. Can't believe how the 3 days flew by and left me with all those chores.... =P

Oh ya, we didnt win the One Love got talent... Sian 1/2... Hoped that we could hav at least pulled a 3rd out of all the effort... Well, i'm lying.. Didnt even think that we could be compared to them... I mean, it was kinda screwed up, no talent at all sia... Of coz other than the talented one that hit the 8th 升高 key on that day... Worth the try, but definitely not winner quality stuff....

2009-06-19T22:48:00.002+08:00

On the 7th day of freedom I gave this to myself....
7 Kopiko Sweets
6 升高 key
5 Disney movies
4 brain-dead singers
3 hours of sleep
2 plates of fried rice
& a reason to post it on my blog

Darn.... One Love is tiring la... Hav to wake up so early today despite so late get home and slp last nite... Thank God enz bought some "caffine" to wake me up... Wouldn't be able to sustain without it...

Had class outing today, had to say that it was forever since i last saw them.. Brings back memories... Darn funny ones... =)

2009-06-19T00:22:00.002+08:00

On the 6th day of freedom I gave this to myself....
6 升高 key
5 Disney movies
4 brain-dead singers
3 hours of sleep
2 plates of fried rice
& a reason to post it on my blog

Hahaz, yes yes... Made it through One Love Got Talent... Somehow... Many thanks to Shuqi, she was the one that did the 6 升高... I merely assisted, and kinda played horribly... Oh ya, and i stepped on her toe... =P Anyway, ALL FOR YEP!

And yes, the 5 Disney movies was yesterday... Or 2 days ago, depending on how u look at the time now... Tried to watch as many movies as possible to see which one suits the theme of responsibility.. Ended up being confused... I mean, 5 movies? I almost didnt slp la....

Ok, hav to stop here... Otherwise i wun be able to wake up for One Love tml....

2009-06-16T23:55:00.002+08:00

On the 4th day of freedom I gave this to myself....
4 brain-dead singers
3 hours of sleep
2 plates of fried rice
& a reason to post it on my blog

Hahaz, went to yile's hse today to brain storm abt the one love got talent that we are gonna take part in... Juz for fun and laughter of coz, but got money of coz better la.. Problem is, our brain storm was so strong, it short circuited everyone's brains... So we kinda didnt really think of much, and considering the amt of time left b4 the auditions, we shld hav thought of alot more la... But despite attacks frm the Z monster, we managed to fight it off using sheer willpower, and had a few ideas thrown into the hat... Decided to pull out wateva things that we threw into the hat out the nxt day, and hopefully it becomes a rabbit, dove, or a bunch of plastic flowers? But still got hw lo, and i am basically stuck with that... I need some inspiration!!

2009-06-15T22:55:00.002+08:00

On the 3rd day of freedom I gave this to myself....
3 hours of sleep
2 plates of fried rice
& a reason to post it on my blog

*yawn* Damn tired... But it feels so gd... No one to actually yell, threaten, or force me to sleep early coz the price of electricity is rising and i hav to turn off the com... Life's good, damn good...

2009-06-15T01:49:00.002+08:00

On the 2nd day of freedom I gave this to myself....
2 plates of fried rice
& a reason to post it on my blog

Hahaz, yes... its the beginning of the 2nd day of freedom... and why the fried rice? From a reliable source (that's YiYin), fried rice shld nt be kept in the fridge for more than a day, otherwise it will go bad... As my mum prepared 2 plates of fried rice b4 she flew off to Isreal, i guess i kinda prevented it frm going bad any furthur... Yes, i know its alr 1am, almost 2, in the morning, but i still hav to settle that 2 plates of rice... And wat better way than to convert them into storage energy inside me.... Darn, am i living a gd life or wat?

2009-06-11T09:23:00.002+08:00

God is good, all the time.. And all the time, God is good. Thou we rarely agree that He is good all the time due to our own setbacks, i still want to thank Him for His goodness.. He is so good, trying to use words to describe His goodness would be an insult... =)

2009-06-06T19:35:00.002+08:00

Ah.. The 100th post... Seems like i dun blog much, took forever to hit 3 digits... Anyway, since its the 100th, i shld talk abt smth interesting...

I got accepted into SIM.. Hahaz, the letter came damn late la, like 1 month after every one else got their letter of acceptance.. Maybe its diff course, i dunno, but at least it came... But here comes another problem, i am nt the least bit thrilled abt the fact that i hav waited so anxiously, all for that few pieces of paper.. The only reaction when i got it was to put it aside and finish eating lunch first... Main issue? I dunno whether i shld accept the course and start studying, or work and study part time... I dun mind accepting the course, but i think it will pack my schedule so much till i wun hav time to work.. Or i can start work, and delay furthuring my education... Sigh, life's full of decisions, and they are nv easy... Stay tuned for more according to this issue then.. I guess...

2009-06-03T09:59:00.002+08:00

Went to the airport to send shuqi off last night
Classified under weird and random ppl by jinghui
Helped to promote environmental awareness by taking these pics..

I guess i'm really bored?

2009-05-31T22:21:00.003+08:00

2 nights of getting high... 2 totally diff methods... But the result is still the same?

Had YEP chalet at ubin... Was a fun chalet, learnt loads of things that are applicable in nt juz on YEPs, but in everyday life... Way of getting high? Carlsberg... Didnt take any photos frm this trip, but it was so enjoyable... Totally dun mind going over to stay for another few days, the hospitality was awesome (that includes the morning coffee.. )

2nd night, evening rather, went to minds cafe to celebrate zhiyan's bday.. problem faced? the body is willing but the mind is weak... maybe due to lack of shut eye during ubin chalet, so i ended up a lil crazy... Shot off the famous phrase of "DRIED PEANUTS", only the ppl present will understand the joke... Played a game called repeat peke, and i totally died at it... brain already dead, so the body juz followed along...

ok, i'm talking nonsense... need sleep.. =)

2009-05-26T19:42:00.004+08:00

Lolz, i realised that i haven been spending quality time with my phone... Found loads of random stuff inside (most prob taken by liyun).. These are a few of the random stuff... =) Now i know why jinghui says that she likes a post with loads of photos... Anyway, been having some first aid lessons with cx and yd over the past few days... Lesson was boring, so i guess we kinda played a fool? And ya, we found some similarities and took photos...

Hahaz, spot the similarities... =) And spend more quality time with your phone, u nv know what u hav missed out...

2009-05-25T22:58:00.002+08:00

I guess Christians juz can't live without church.... Juz one weekend without church life, juz one saturday not practicing in the worship team, juz a sunday not spent tgt with churchmates in church, and i get my timing all messed up... I actually thought i was getting close to friday, when monday juz started...

Realised that i hav been missing out... Missed out or not, missed or not is another issue... Missing out on certain stuff that i would definitely enjoy, but hav no such luxury of time or money to even start dreaming abt enjoying... Reality is cruel, a person can't hav more than 24 hours...

Well, at least the weekend wasn't wasted.. Learnt much that i can add to my "how to" section.. Biggest take away? I learnt to hold my tongue.. Not that i havent been holding it long enough recently, but to know when exactly to let it loose.. Guess there is still much more to learn from the last 2 days... =)

2009-05-18T22:43:00.002+08:00

Lesson learnt today: Sometimes the sound of a gunshot can hurt more than the bullet itself.

2009-05-14T23:55:00.002+08:00

I've only realised how much i changed through the years after i did that DISC personality test.. The first test i ever took gave me the result of a high D... The second test revealed a drop in the D and an increase in the I.. The third test brought me from a DI, to an almost all rounder, with DI being only 1 or 2 points above S and C... And the most recent test concluded that i am a SC... For the ppl that are confused with the letters, D stands for Dominance, I for Influence, S for Steadiness, and C for Conscientiousness... Thinking back, all those tests were accurate, so i guess my personality almost did a 180 degrees turn? From someone with high D, to a person that has a high SC, i guess change has slowly, but definitely creeped into my life... It came more as a pleasant surprise i would say, when i realise that i am not the usual high D person i used to be, and that i am a person who is considered more mild and gentle? Anyway, i guess this change wun be the end, and that more will come!

Went K this afternoon with Xiao Wan, Kai Qi and Yong Jie... Sang for 6 hours... =) And judging from the number of ppl, i think u shld understand how tired we all are after that K session... We di our own high stuff, got a lil crazy, sang song after song after song... It was fun, but i think i quite traumatised by the exp.. I mean, i was like constantly thinking, "Wat's the nxt song?" We practically ran out of songs to sing la! Hahaz, nxt time muz really jio more ppl to sing le.. =)

2009-05-11T00:26:00.002+08:00

Can you hear the sound of faith?

That's the question i feel really made me think recently.. A song from an old album, ends with that very sentence.. But i think the song is not really trying to tell me to hear the sound of faith, but rather, be the sound of faith... How do i radiate faith? How can faith resonate thru me, outwards to the ppl arnd me? Althou the model answer is to be the perfect example, to live a Christ like life, i think there is more to it... Something more, something deeper than juz on the surface... But what?