There is only one more day before I end this stint here in this company. And to be honest, it felt like a year wasted. Not much learnt, not much experienced. It was just a job to get income, a job to survive. And as this chapter draws to a close, I find myself wondering, what's next?
Many call life a race, or to be more precise, a marathon. You start running, go through obstacles after obstacles, you fall, you get up and go again, you meet people along the way, etc etc. If that is the case, then getting to the finish line equals dying, yes? To be able to meet the Maker tell Him you've ran a good race. Maybe that's how I should be looking at life.
I have always been viewing it as a series of short sprints, and living it that way as well. Sprint through schooling years. Sprint through first year at work. Sprinting and sprinting, always getting to one 'finish line', out of breath, and thinking to myself, where to next?
Of course this time round wasn't the case. I was ready to settle down, to run the full course of the marathon. But life has a different plan for me. It's irritating really, to want to settle down and work in a proper job for at least 5 to 10 years, but the company has to close down. I am demoralized really, and looking for that other job to sustain me for that 5 to 10 years is really a chore.
Ok, enough with the dark and sad rants in life. I know that outside this, there will always be a way. That outside all these troubles in life, there is hope. The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
Thursday, January 19, 2017
2017
Ah... Once again, I have ignored this blog for a few months. And once again, I am back to complain about life and why it is not going my way. 2016 was not a fantastic year for me, and to cap it off, I might be out of job soon. Sure, there were a few awesome moments in it, like how I went back to experience Dragonboating again, the awesome trip to Korea (which I didn't blog about, so maybe I will do that soon, with pics!), and of course the long awaited Pokemon Go coming out. While all these are sparks that light up the night, they fade off pretty quickly. Reality comes back into play almost immediately. And that sucks.
Sometimes I really envy those who knows what they want in life. Ok, correction. I have ALWAYS envied those who knows (or at least looks like they know) what they want in life. And once these people set their targets, they don't lose track of it. Even if life is tough at times, they persevere, they push on, because they have the goal in mind. And this is something that I have always wanted. I feel like a wandering soul on the surface of the planet, always surviving but never living. And I have tried to find my own mission in life, by trying all sorts of things. I traveled, did community work, worked retail, worked in the back end office, worked with music, learned music, and at the end of the day, it was still a question mark. And I am so sick and tired of not being able to find it.
I am still searching. Even though I am ready to give up. Give up and be consumed by the world. The world that tells everyone what you need to survive. To have a proper job and pay to feed yourself and family. To wake up in the morning to toil and earn your keep to maintain a position in the corporate world. To survive. And I am not convinced that that is they way to be. No, there is more to life than simply surviving. But until I find the life I want to live, I shall continue surviving.
Sometimes I really envy those who knows what they want in life. Ok, correction. I have ALWAYS envied those who knows (or at least looks like they know) what they want in life. And once these people set their targets, they don't lose track of it. Even if life is tough at times, they persevere, they push on, because they have the goal in mind. And this is something that I have always wanted. I feel like a wandering soul on the surface of the planet, always surviving but never living. And I have tried to find my own mission in life, by trying all sorts of things. I traveled, did community work, worked retail, worked in the back end office, worked with music, learned music, and at the end of the day, it was still a question mark. And I am so sick and tired of not being able to find it.
I am still searching. Even though I am ready to give up. Give up and be consumed by the world. The world that tells everyone what you need to survive. To have a proper job and pay to feed yourself and family. To wake up in the morning to toil and earn your keep to maintain a position in the corporate world. To survive. And I am not convinced that that is they way to be. No, there is more to life than simply surviving. But until I find the life I want to live, I shall continue surviving.
Matthew 6:25-34
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Thursday, September 8, 2016
Project 28 success!
Project Level 28 was a success! (sort of...) Hit Level 28 one day after on my birthday! It was a long and tedious grind, given that I still hold a boring 9 to 5 job that does not let me become a Pokemon Master, but I did it. Such satisfaction. Such jubilation. And as such, now what?
Game beside the point, another year on in life, another journey, another epic adventure. Still have yet to figure out what I want to do in life. Quit my job and go full time Pokemon trainer? Nah, don't dare to take the risk. Setting up a business of my own? Thought about it, talked about it, and still have no idea where or when or what to take action on. Sometimes I feel that my life is in a mess, the road ahead covered with fog, and the only way to know what is ahead is just to grope my way through. Never had a dream as a kid, nothing conventional anyway.
Saw a nice quote on a 9gag post that us Pokemon kids didn't grow old, we leveled up. So leveling up to 28 brings forth a whole new set of challenges in life. Challenges that might need more training and preparation before facing. Yes I might not know what life has in store for me in the upcoming months and years to come. But I have a bag full of Ultra Balls and Razz Berries. I have my high CP Pokemon that I powered up with my stardust. Bring it on life, I am ready.
Just like this Squirtle in a Whirlpool, you can choose to either fight against the current, or just go with the flow :)
Monday, August 29, 2016
LEVEL 27
3 weeks into the game. 3 weeks of chasing Pokemon around my workplace. 3 weeks of walking the longer route home to clock more distance on the eggs. 3 weeks of dedication to be the very best, like no one ever was. And here I am, level 27.
Am I leveling up too slowly? Seems like those that are playing for leisure are actually pretty close in terms of level. My colleague who started later, and plays less, is only 4 levels lower. I know the EXP scales quite significantly after 20, but only 4 levels apart makes it feel that I have not put in enough effort.
This level 27 is also after using up all the Lucky Eggs that are gotten from leveling up. I think there are 4 or 5 eggs that I used. My colleague that has yet to even use a single egg is at level 21. 6 levels away. Makes me wonder if all that patience to collect and evolve the EXP fodder (caterpie, weedle and pidgey) is really worth the effort. Maybe the EXP scale can be better adjusted? Or not, I have come so far, others need to feel that pain in grinding level too.
So yup, 27 is the level. Target is to be 28 by September. That's 3 days away. That will mark my 28th year on planet Earth, and it will be really great if I can get the level by then as well. Fingers crossed.
Am I leveling up too slowly? Seems like those that are playing for leisure are actually pretty close in terms of level. My colleague who started later, and plays less, is only 4 levels lower. I know the EXP scales quite significantly after 20, but only 4 levels apart makes it feel that I have not put in enough effort.
This level 27 is also after using up all the Lucky Eggs that are gotten from leveling up. I think there are 4 or 5 eggs that I used. My colleague that has yet to even use a single egg is at level 21. 6 levels away. Makes me wonder if all that patience to collect and evolve the EXP fodder (caterpie, weedle and pidgey) is really worth the effort. Maybe the EXP scale can be better adjusted? Or not, I have come so far, others need to feel that pain in grinding level too.
So yup, 27 is the level. Target is to be 28 by September. That's 3 days away. That will mark my 28th year on planet Earth, and it will be really great if I can get the level by then as well. Fingers crossed.
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
PokeRun
Tried using www.pokemonradargo.com to locate the ever elusive pokemon running all over the small island of Singapore. Had a great time hunting Pikachus, Hitmonchan, Electabuzz, and many other critters on Sunday.
Trusted the website, maybe a little too much. Spotted a Dragonite near my workplace with 10min left. Sprinted across a few lanes and past so many buildings, makes me realise how long I haven't been exercising. But point is, when I got there, no Dragonite. Not even a shadow stating that it is nearby. Nothing. Just a very exhausted and sweaty me standing in the middle of nowhere.
Colleague of mine tried the same thing today. Kabutops appeared in the same area with more than 10min left. I let him have this, and actually I didn't join in cos I was expecting similar results to the fluke Dragonite. And guess what? Same thing happened. Not even a shadow...
Still have to give it credit though, the radar works most of the time. When it says there is an Eevee, there was really an Eevee where it pointed out. There was a Bulbasaur as well though, which the radar did not pick up. So question is how does this radar thing work? Don't think it is crowd sourcing, there will not be such accurate timing if it is.
Still playing around with the radar, hopefully I can find out how it works so that there will be no more fruitless runs to weird places looking for something that wasn't there. Will continue to update here on more Pokemon Go goodness. :)
Trusted the website, maybe a little too much. Spotted a Dragonite near my workplace with 10min left. Sprinted across a few lanes and past so many buildings, makes me realise how long I haven't been exercising. But point is, when I got there, no Dragonite. Not even a shadow stating that it is nearby. Nothing. Just a very exhausted and sweaty me standing in the middle of nowhere.
Colleague of mine tried the same thing today. Kabutops appeared in the same area with more than 10min left. I let him have this, and actually I didn't join in cos I was expecting similar results to the fluke Dragonite. And guess what? Same thing happened. Not even a shadow...
Still have to give it credit though, the radar works most of the time. When it says there is an Eevee, there was really an Eevee where it pointed out. There was a Bulbasaur as well though, which the radar did not pick up. So question is how does this radar thing work? Don't think it is crowd sourcing, there will not be such accurate timing if it is.
Still playing around with the radar, hopefully I can find out how it works so that there will be no more fruitless runs to weird places looking for something that wasn't there. Will continue to update here on more Pokemon Go goodness. :)
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Gotta Catch Em All
It has been 10 days since the release of Pokemon Go in Singapore. I can still remember the adrenaline rush when I saw the newsfeed on Facebook, when I received email notification about the game being live in the country I am in. It was a moment of ecstasy as I downloaded the game, and made preparations to embark on my epic quest to catch them all. Not too much trouble there, I am someone who packs for all seasons and occasions. My water bottle filled, portable battery pack fully charged, I am ready to Go.
That was 10 days ago. And the fever has not died down one bit. Aspiring trainers, both young and old, are scouring the streets for the virtual critters and swiping their phones. Certain hot spots have already been identified all across this little red dot, and hundreds are flocking over to catch the legendary Pokemon of their dreams, building up their team, every step closer to being the very best. What a phenomenon it is, really heart warming to see the Singaporean 'Kampong Spirit' being rekindled. People on the streets are friendlier, giving friendly advise to each other, sharing the whereabouts to catch Pokemon, and even starting people off on their own epic journey. I once saw a young couple helping and teaching an old man how to catch Pokemon, and it was such a beautiful sight. Seems like after years and years of us being individuals living on the same plot of land, we are finally finding a common identity.
Of course there are haters, people who think the game is childish, who think the game is satanic, who think the game is a waste of time. And there are the neutral parties who, although not playing the game themselves, are not going to criticize you to the ground, and even try to find out more on this new trend. But to the haters out there, whatever the reason it may be, please be reminded that although there will definitely be some social and psychological concerns, it is just a game at the end of the day. Don't lump the extremists and addicted to casual players. The only change is that this game forces us to play in public instead of in the comforts of our own home.
And of course, to the avid gamers, to the aspiring trainers, to the Pokemon fans out there, do remember that this is just a game at the end of the day. Please still show concern for the residents in the area by not littering, by not disturbing and being noisy in the middle of the night. Look out for incoming traffic when crossing the road, not just at incoming Pokestops. Do not drive and play at the same time. Do not trespass. Dear trainers, you know the rules, please abide by them. Let's make this a better place for all. Quest On!
That was 10 days ago. And the fever has not died down one bit. Aspiring trainers, both young and old, are scouring the streets for the virtual critters and swiping their phones. Certain hot spots have already been identified all across this little red dot, and hundreds are flocking over to catch the legendary Pokemon of their dreams, building up their team, every step closer to being the very best. What a phenomenon it is, really heart warming to see the Singaporean 'Kampong Spirit' being rekindled. People on the streets are friendlier, giving friendly advise to each other, sharing the whereabouts to catch Pokemon, and even starting people off on their own epic journey. I once saw a young couple helping and teaching an old man how to catch Pokemon, and it was such a beautiful sight. Seems like after years and years of us being individuals living on the same plot of land, we are finally finding a common identity.
Of course there are haters, people who think the game is childish, who think the game is satanic, who think the game is a waste of time. And there are the neutral parties who, although not playing the game themselves, are not going to criticize you to the ground, and even try to find out more on this new trend. But to the haters out there, whatever the reason it may be, please be reminded that although there will definitely be some social and psychological concerns, it is just a game at the end of the day. Don't lump the extremists and addicted to casual players. The only change is that this game forces us to play in public instead of in the comforts of our own home.
And of course, to the avid gamers, to the aspiring trainers, to the Pokemon fans out there, do remember that this is just a game at the end of the day. Please still show concern for the residents in the area by not littering, by not disturbing and being noisy in the middle of the night. Look out for incoming traffic when crossing the road, not just at incoming Pokestops. Do not drive and play at the same time. Do not trespass. Dear trainers, you know the rules, please abide by them. Let's make this a better place for all. Quest On!
Monday, August 1, 2016
Songs In the Night
Sang this song in church yesterday: Songs in the Night by Matt Redman. Sang this song last week as well. But I only sat down last night to really listen to this song, to really read the lyrics.
God, You can tell the waves, 'Be still,'
Tell the ocean roar to pass
Lord, until it does, I'll wait here
God, You can part the raging sea
Bring the miracle I need
Lord until it comes, I'll wait here
and I will
Sing songs in the night, praise in the storm
You're God in it all and I will stand
I'll be still and know, whatever may come
You're God in it all
I am in the storm, Lord the storm is not in me
You will be my peace
I'll wait here, I'll wait here
This might not mean a lot to many, but for me last night when listening to it, somehow gave me a sense of calm and comfort. We always ask of God to relieve us of our suffering, to take the cup away from us. To tide us through the tough times and make us a better person. But we sometimes forget that while we are in the midst of the raging seas, while we are waiting for the miracle, we have to be still and wait upon the Lord. It is not easy, no one wants to wait in the middle of a storm. The immediate reaction will be to try to get out of the storm, to run from the situation. Many times we try to solve problems with our limited power, when we need to stand firm and wait. And above all, it is an important reminder that the storm is external. We need to be like a tree planted by the waters, a man that builds his house on a firm foundation. The things in life may buffet us from left and right, but with Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm.
God, You can tell the waves, 'Be still,'
Tell the ocean roar to pass
Lord, until it does, I'll wait here
God, You can part the raging sea
Bring the miracle I need
Lord until it comes, I'll wait here
and I will
Sing songs in the night, praise in the storm
You're God in it all and I will stand
I'll be still and know, whatever may come
You're God in it all
I am in the storm, Lord the storm is not in me
You will be my peace
I'll wait here, I'll wait here
This might not mean a lot to many, but for me last night when listening to it, somehow gave me a sense of calm and comfort. We always ask of God to relieve us of our suffering, to take the cup away from us. To tide us through the tough times and make us a better person. But we sometimes forget that while we are in the midst of the raging seas, while we are waiting for the miracle, we have to be still and wait upon the Lord. It is not easy, no one wants to wait in the middle of a storm. The immediate reaction will be to try to get out of the storm, to run from the situation. Many times we try to solve problems with our limited power, when we need to stand firm and wait. And above all, it is an important reminder that the storm is external. We need to be like a tree planted by the waters, a man that builds his house on a firm foundation. The things in life may buffet us from left and right, but with Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm.
And I guess my biggest takeaway from this song is that instead of complaining in the darkness, and despairing in the storm, we need to instead sing songs and give praise. Not an easy task when life gives you lemons, but knowing that even during the worst of times, the Lord is in control, gives you that much more reason to sing songs in the night.
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