The Sun, The Sea, & The Garfish

It was less than 24 hours ago, but I already miss it. Waking up in the wee hours of the night to check on the fishing rods, gazing at the moon, waking a few hours later for the sunrise, having a lovely breakfast in the morning, lazing the day away. It was less than a day ago, but it was such a therapeutic  3 day 2 night at Blue Mountain Kelong at Batam. The comfort of sitting at the balcony, listening to the wind whispering its secrets, the waves singing their song, feeling the gentle breeze and the warm sun rays on your skin. I haven't even got to the smell of the salty sea wind there, the cooling feel of the wooden planks, sleeping in the view of a million stars and a full moon, the freshness of the seafood, the roaring performance by a thunderstorm, so many more things to talk about. And so many more things to experience.

It is in this times that I sit back and wonder what have I been doing with my life. Slogging hard day and night to gain utility, to achieve happiness. And finding it when I am stripped of all the daily rat race activities. Shouldn't happiness be achieved even through work? Shouldn't utility be gained while slogging it out? Instead we are adding burdens in our lives, putting many more responsibilities on our shoulders, that we are actually not happy about. Is this the way of life? Or is there more to it?

Idea

Funny how some ideas sneak up on you. Some come in the form of speech from people around you. Others come from the TV screen, movie screen, or any other screen, iPad, Samsung, Nexus, etc. But I love how this idea came about. The B-I-B-L-E. Honestly, this whole process of planning for a camp has been so confusing, so lost, and ever so challenging. Something this large scale, and nothing has been planned yet. Yet. After just a couple months of forming a team and meeting up, still nothing seems to be forming up. The skeleton is barely formed, bones still brittle. But this idea has been so enlightening. To wrap the entire camp around this passage, like how I wrap my fats around my muscles, has been the thing I was looking for. And I didn't even have to look for it. It just came. Thank God. :)

Glass Anatomy

Not an awesome plot, nor was anything especially eye catching (since I was sitting at the last row. Could have been different given the female lead), and far too many cliche. Only nice part was that the music was played live, even the sounds of a radio and such. That is the nice part.

This musical is about a girl chasing her dreams. The story goes with how tragic her background is, but how she strived and pursued this impossible dream. And reached it. Typical Cinderella story. It then goes on to show how much is sacrificed. In order to further her career, to continue reaching for the stars, she has to leave behind her friends, family, and love. When she finally realised how much she had left behind, she regretted, tried to turn things around, but it was too late.

I was reminded of something I read some time back from the manga The Fullmetal Alchemist. There was this law called the Law of Equivalent Exchange, where "In order to obtain or create something, something of equal value must be lost or destroyed." That was something I struggled with, and is still struggling with. I believe in this law, and that all humans are bound by it. To obtain or achieve something, something else must be sacrificed. Time for money, money for possessions, possessions for security, etc. Yes, different people have different priorities, which make this rule a little unbalanced. But it is a fact that we are constantly, unwillingly, being bound by such a rule, many times willingly. 

I like how this musical described life as a glass bottle. Clean, clear, and able to be filled. But once broken, once scratched, it is hard, even impossible, to return it to its formal glory. Trust me, I broke a glass pot lid just this Thursday. This is reality. There is no save point like in an RPG game. Once broken, it is so hard to revert back onto the right track. And the right track might not seem to be as easy to walk down once again. I like how this musical ended though. It was not as mind boggling an ending as Inception, but it did leave the audience hanging. So the protagonist realised the mistake, changed her ways, and tried to set her life straight. So what next? With finding her loved ones dead, missing and gone, what next? 

So chase your dreams. Chase it with all your heart. But do not forget your roots. For it is the roots that keep a tall tree standing. 

Still

I love the concept. To be still and enjoy the comfort in the moment that there is nothing at all. No movement, no noise, nothing disturbing the peace. But here is the problem. I am Singaporean. And stillness is a foreign concept to me. With things rushing by every single moment, and with the 'Time waits for no men' concept, there is no way I can keep myself doing nothing. That is defined as unproductive. As much as I want to do nothing, there is that nagging thought that this is unacceptable. And till I master the art of being still while in motion, let me throw myself into the swirling mess of activities we call life once again.

Letting Go

Easier said than done. Full stops are not meant to be placed anywhere you want. Too many other factors to consider. Once again, I am convinced that I am easy to persuade. Instead of a full stop, it was a comma. A temporary rest, a break in the sentence. But long term goal remains the same. This is not my home ground. Battling on foreign grounds has its limits. And I am at mine. I believe I have ran a good race, that I have fought a good fight. It was not the best, but it is the best I can offer. And so it is time to let go.

Full Stop

Finally. The day where I put the dot at the end of the sentence. The day when I finally say 'It is done'. I know that this might, or definitely will, disappoint more than one person. Hopefully people will persuade me to continue fighting. To continue writing the story. To withhold the full stop. I hope. That will show that I meant something. Although I don't think that will happen. This is for the good of the many. The unfruitful branches must be cut off in order for the fruitful to grow. Extremist, i agree. What's with the society being built on faith, hope and love. I am putting the full stop today. I am putting it for the good of the majority. It was not an easy decision. But it is a necessary action. I made up my mind. Full stop.