Had an outstandingly disgusting dream last night... I literally dreamt that i went thru a whole day of skl.. All the lessons, the lectures, the tutorials... In that dream i took the "Journey to the West" MRT ride to SIM and back, ate all 3 meals, did hw, like i am some studious boy lidat... Then i ended the dream with lying on my bed, drained to the bones...

Woke up immediately after i "slept"... It was only 5am... And now i feel as if its all deja vu... Tiring sia...

Road block.... I want to, but i juz can't... There's smth stopping me... Like i am running with iron balls attached to my legs... And i juz lose the motivation to carry on...

Woke up at 2 last night, didn't sleep till 6... And woke up at 6.30 to prepare to go skl... And yet i hav enough energy to keep me going all the way till now... SIM has good coffee?? No idea, all i know is that i hav been keeping this up for quite some time... And assuming that this is not a very good habit, or hobby (depending on how it works sometimes), it is actually quite detrimental to one's health... So yes, i shall learn how to go back to slp if i wake up at 2am...

Ya rite....

Sigh, March and April time table is out.... And yes, there is one sunday, two sunday, three sunday... Three full sundays of lecture and revisions.... How wonderful... I dun even know where to begin.. Should i be glad that the 12k that i spent on education was definitely worth it's value? Or should i start despairing coz its three sundays and one saturday, on top of the usual time table? Dilemma...

Good News: I got a new com!! =)

Bad News: The com is empty!! So my itouch can only be synced to nothing! No songs, no music... =(

Someone apologised to me today... For something that the person said... Here's the thing... Thank you... Thank you for telling me that, even though i hav no idea wat was said, and wat was it all abt.. Althou i can more or less guess, its the thought that counts right? So here's to the person, thank you for apologising, and know that u are forgiven..

Its so easy to hav a slip of tongue, so easy to say something hurtful, to do something hurtful... And we often do that without thinking of the consequences, and we enjoy it in certain cases as well... That's normal... We are all human... And human err... We live in a society where a dog eat dog policy is almost certain... Pareto efficiency is almost always achieved... We improve our mood at the expense of another... And others in the expense of ours... So its normal, its alright... As long as u realised it, and make amends... There is use crying over spilt milk sometimes...

Its dark now, and i'm tired from all that soccer... I guess i can accept reality now... It sucks, but yea, so does everything else... =)

Sigh, when can i start playing the bass like 五月天? I mean seriously, i am stuck... And they're good.. Still a long way there, but dunno where to begin, this is as bad as trying to study econs by reading the newspaper...

Wait, should i be worrying abt that with exams and prelims round the corner? Darn....

Hahaz, all test results are out... Somehow i managed to pass every single one of them... I'm not saying that it was a surprise or wat, but i didn't think that i will pass every single one of them..
Econs was the paper that was the hardest to pass, but i did, so yup, that was the most "well deserved" pass...
Accounting was a comfortable pass... I knew i was going to pass that, so no worries on that part, juz how well only...
Stats was nonsense... If i fail stats, or even if i barely passed it, it will mean that i really suck at it... Given the fact that it was so easy, ppl like me who didn't even study for it can get 86%, ya... That test was really a giveaway...
IBM was the weirdest... Not that i was not happy to pass it... I mean, althou it was juz a scrape pass, i still passed... Juz that i was ready to fail it with flying colours already.. If i got juz 10%, i wouldn't be surprised... But i passed...

Tests are over... Time to start running the clock... 117 days left, yay....

Lovely isn't it? Just sums up my QT for the day...

The bill came... $1,348... That's wat's going to happen in May... Exams in 5 months, can't wait...

This is the 3rd time i am posting something in 2 days... Its either i am really bored, or i hav too much to say but no one's listening.. Either way, its still excessive...

I guess i needed skl in my life... Felt so much better today as i go thru the routine of getting picked on by teachers, laughing and joking with my course mates, getting back my econs test paper (i passed btw)... The hols has took its toll on me.. Maybe its due to me having too much time to think, too much time to consider, to ponder, to wander off into worthless thought... Ppl hav said that i think too much sometimes, and i agree... Some things are actually not so complicated as i imagined it to be.. But simplicity creeps me out.. Like having a one page answer to a 25 mark essay question.. You get the point... But yes, now that i am back in the game, its only a question of when is the nxt time... Well, till then... =)

The light rain touching my cheeks
The loud music screaming into my ears
How can two totally different, opposing things come together to be so comforting?

I've vent my anger, my frustrations.. Thank God for self control, almost destroyed my com last night when it hanged on me.. Literally.. It was going thru some abuse that i think can wake it up from its hanging habits...

Now its time to move on.. I can't live like this.. Can't sleep, can't eat, this is not me... Save me from myself...

Today's sermon was enlightening, to say the least... To know that i am not the only one feeling so lost as i step into this new year, to remember that even during these times, that there is a greater being watching over me... Yes, i know... I started this year with the mentality that its juz another year.. I hav nothing in store for me, nothing to look forward to, nothing to work towards, nothing to wish for, nothing. Not that it has changed now.. Nothing's changed.. I still feel that way.. But at least i know that i'm not alone....

Yes, i'm emo now... Can't even gather up my thoughts properly to type watever i wanted to... But yes, i think i am changing... Or rather, i had enough... Enough is enough... Didn't know that emptiness can take up so much space... That nothingness can be so pressurizing.. I felt so alone... Feel so alone... Even though it contradicts the fact that i know that i am not... It juz feels like i am constantly giving, going all out to satisfy others, that i forget that i am human too... But now i remember... I am human, and humans hav feelings... Keeping negative feelings was a wrong choice.. Two negatives dun make a positive, dun believe wat they teach u in math class.. But yes, i think i reached breaking point... Guess i need a friend... Someone to make me feel less lonely... But who cares? No one.

And so here we are, 2010... A new year full of things yet to be fulfilled.. One of which is the much needed sleep.. Can't believe that i am actually the only person still not sleeping.. The rest has concussed.. So yes, i am forced to look for smth to do, and this is smth to do...

Countdowns are starting to lose its fun factor.. Now its like juz another day, juz that i dun feel like going out to squeeze in the crowd again... My first few hours of this new year was spent with Baby, with L4D, and a bunch of zombies fighting off the Z monster like in L4D... Pardon me, but this is seriously the first time i played L4D.. And it was alr version 2... Didnt even know how the first version was like...

Anyways, 2010 has juz started, and the road is long... Hopefully i will walk a gd walk, run a gd run, and maybe roll a gd roll.. God bless my 2010... And of co yours too:.. :)