Yes, i guess it has been ages since i last did smth to this blog... Wasn't coz i was uber busy or smth, although it is partially true... I can only say that my life has been through a small roller coaster ride, like the one in Escape theme park... Nt horrendously scary till u pee and shit your pants juz sitting in the ride, but there was movement, no doubt....

So back tracking a lil, i am a student now... I juz finished a series of horrifyingly tough papers and am supposed to enjoy my holiday... That was the plan.... So lets pick things up from the start of holiday part....

Firstly, i got a job... Not as exciting as i hoped, and doesn't pay really well, but wat more can u ask frm a part time desk job? $7 per hour is nt too bad, considering the fact that part of the job scope was to keep that seat warm for 8 hours, with 1 hour of lunch break in between... But get this straight, i feel like i am doing $14 per hour worth of work... Do your maths, u'll understand my workload...

And sadly, althou i wish to go on further, i hav nth left to post... That's all my life... Boring isn't it?

I woke up today, feeling not quite right... I felt worried, even scared... The stress has set in, its crunch time... One more month to exams, and i'm going to need all the energy, prayer, revision, time, knowledge, u name it... Yes, its finally the moment...

As promised, here is an update on yesterday... Went for a check up, and doctor said it was probably muscle strain... But i kinda wanted to be sure, so went for x ray as well...

During the "photo shoot", that (not so) nice lady there told me to change to some blue dress, and its quite the weird la... First time wearing a dress u know.. Then took a couple of "photos", and i was out..

Turns out my spine was not shaped normally.. Also dunno how to explain la.. Its like a part of my backbone has been slightly worn out? Doctor said that if that caused the pain, i shld hav been dying in pain for very long le, and not juz recently.. More probable to link it with the fact that i hav flat feet than some back problem... Anyway, she referred me to SGH for some physiotherapy, or i assume is another check up la...

Long story short, pills were given, i feel a lil better now (its not a mental thing, i dun get comforted by the fact that i hav pills to pop)... And ya, life goes on...

MY BACKACHE IS KILLING ME!! Ok, its official.. I'm going to the doctor's on monday... This can't wait any longer... I thought it was going to get better by itself, but no... The pain is juz escalating... Esp when i had a sneezing fit last night.. I tell u, each time i sneeze, i can literally feel that sharp pain shooting up my whole spine la! Almost went crazy abt the fact that i can't stop either the sneezing or the pain, it was torturous sia....

Anyways, will update if i die in the hospital with back problems...

Ok, its official... The current record has been broken! The youngest homo sapien i get to lay my hands on is now officially 1 month old! Hahaz, Gracie is so cute!!! Lol, i know, this is super random... But its so cool to hold such a small, fragile, nice smelling baby in my arms... And she is so pretty!! Hahaz, yes, now i feel so much more like the uncle i proclaim to be... No pics, but will upload if i hav any!

Just realised something... Love can be measured in dollars and cents... I know it sounds a lil weird, and that it is most prob a claim that dun really stand.. But its the first time that i found this subject of irrationality to be measurable, esp with currency that we use day in day out...

Ok, to make things clear... Maybe its not abt how love can be measured.. Even the bible states that love can only be measured if we count all the sand on the beach, or measure how far the east is from the west (which is quite a few mrt stops in singapore context).. But yes, i am surprised, even shocked, at the practicality and rational thinking of the current generation... The issue of money never left us, and never will leave us.. Too little, we fret.. Too much, we fret as well (although i rather fret over having too much money).. Thing is, the Rational Economic Man is not juz an assumption, nor is it only a theory, but more of a fact that we live in everyday..

Ok, this post sounds like a bunch of nonsense... Maybe coz its due to fact that i haven got around much.. Yes, i hav been locking myself at home these past few days, studying (a little), and caressing the keyboard and mouse (A LOT)... And the paintball outing is cancelled! Darn sad sia... All becoz not enough ppl are willing to go there kena shot by me... Hahaz, too bad then...

My gosh, the weather is practically a killer... Yes, other than the fact that it was reported that Feb was one of the hottest months ever recorded, and that there will be many more of such days to come, all the way till May (whoopie... X_X )

I mean. i can sit right here in front of the computer, with the fan turned on and pointing directly at me, with the natural wind (not mine, the one coming from outside the window) also gushing in, and i can still perspire... That's beyond the limit alr ok... I mean, other than the fact that i hav a layer of fat arnd me which basically means that i walk arnd in a jacket, i guess this is a lil too kua zhang alr rite??

Even as i speak (and type..), the sky seems to be darkening... Maybe there's some rain tonight? Some relief to the relentless heat that beats down on us mortals? Maybe.. My ankle was hurting this afternoon, so maybe... C'mon rain, u can do better than that!!

ok, today was really a wake up call.. Math and stats cui sia.. Cui may even be an understatement.. So this is UOL exam standard.. The previous months of exercises are purely bullshit... Reality is nowhere near the easy days when i was much younger and happier in the DE program... Now the Diploma in Economics really live up to its name of D.I.E..

This is only the tip of the iceberg... Now is the time to gather whatever remaining forces left and make a dash for the finale... If there is a hell, it is probably filled with past year papers and revision notes...

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief was good... Better than i expected it to be anyway... Although i still think Mr. Brosnan looks better as a secret agent with a gun in 007, or beach wear stuff in MaMaMia, rather than a centaur with a staff and a permed beard... Seriously, he looks positively weird, if not hilarious...

Back to the main point, Percy Jackson is worth watching... I thought the storyline was ok, although some didn't like it... But the whole movie was pleasant, and has a few funny moments.. Ok, maybe more than a few la, which is why i liked it.. Making crude jokes in the midst of danger, that's the kind of humour la....

Mid way through CNY hols le... Gotta restart the mugging machine... Set the thing running straight all the way till May.... Yay....

CNY hols is bad.... Holiday will cause holiday mood, which has already set in... And holiday mood is bad coz tests and exams are juz round the corner... And i really haven studied yet... Yes, really haven.. Not haven't really... Meaning i juz left my books there to rot while i soak up the wonderful feeling that there is no skl at 8 in the morning.. Yes, soaking it up on the glorious bed which juz gets more and more comfortable...

Gotta get my act tgt soon... Soon... That word coming out of my mouth (or from my fingers) means that i'll procrastinate and drag things on forever... Soon... wat a dangerous word...

This is juz a routine post... Life is boring now... Nth much worth talking abt... Other than exams and tests and studying, but i guess that's nt much to mention.. Its still the same.. The waking up early, go skl and complain... Then life goes on and on, and the same thing happens again and again... Didn't know boredom can feel that boring...

Refilling my com with songs now.. Yes, refilling.. Meaning it is still in continuation... Really amazed as i dug through all my old CDs, searching for any surviving bands or artists that i still appreciate... Came across old time names like Backstreet Boys, Westlife, N'sync, A1, S Club 7, Savage Garden, Blue, Simple Plan, etc.. Guess i really am old.. Kids these days dun even know the BSB's anymore...

Gave my iTouch another chance today.. Tried the forbidden/illegal program on it.. And i guess my iTouch is a Christian as well... So yup, i was once again denied from committing a severe offence and wun get a chance to go to jail... And i give up, some things are juz meant to be... =)

Sigh, tried to jailbreak my iTouch today... Actually, yesterday... But my home dun hav wireless access, so i waited till today to jailbreak it in skl... Jailbreaked it... Installing vital apps so that i dun hav to pay for future entertainment on my handy device... And then it happened... Yup, it crashed...

Gone are all the songs that are in my possession... Did i mention that i had a new com? And did i mention that song transfers for iTouch is only one way? From the iTunes to the iTouch, but not back.. So yea, appealing for any kindred soul with music to share.. Anything... Otherwise i hav to listen to the groans and sniffs and moans and sighs and yawns of the morning crowd in the train... =(

Had an outstandingly disgusting dream last night... I literally dreamt that i went thru a whole day of skl.. All the lessons, the lectures, the tutorials... In that dream i took the "Journey to the West" MRT ride to SIM and back, ate all 3 meals, did hw, like i am some studious boy lidat... Then i ended the dream with lying on my bed, drained to the bones...

Woke up immediately after i "slept"... It was only 5am... And now i feel as if its all deja vu... Tiring sia...

Road block.... I want to, but i juz can't... There's smth stopping me... Like i am running with iron balls attached to my legs... And i juz lose the motivation to carry on...

Woke up at 2 last night, didn't sleep till 6... And woke up at 6.30 to prepare to go skl... And yet i hav enough energy to keep me going all the way till now... SIM has good coffee?? No idea, all i know is that i hav been keeping this up for quite some time... And assuming that this is not a very good habit, or hobby (depending on how it works sometimes), it is actually quite detrimental to one's health... So yes, i shall learn how to go back to slp if i wake up at 2am...

Ya rite....

Sigh, March and April time table is out.... And yes, there is one sunday, two sunday, three sunday... Three full sundays of lecture and revisions.... How wonderful... I dun even know where to begin.. Should i be glad that the 12k that i spent on education was definitely worth it's value? Or should i start despairing coz its three sundays and one saturday, on top of the usual time table? Dilemma...

Good News: I got a new com!! =)

Bad News: The com is empty!! So my itouch can only be synced to nothing! No songs, no music... =(

Someone apologised to me today... For something that the person said... Here's the thing... Thank you... Thank you for telling me that, even though i hav no idea wat was said, and wat was it all abt.. Althou i can more or less guess, its the thought that counts right? So here's to the person, thank you for apologising, and know that u are forgiven..

Its so easy to hav a slip of tongue, so easy to say something hurtful, to do something hurtful... And we often do that without thinking of the consequences, and we enjoy it in certain cases as well... That's normal... We are all human... And human err... We live in a society where a dog eat dog policy is almost certain... Pareto efficiency is almost always achieved... We improve our mood at the expense of another... And others in the expense of ours... So its normal, its alright... As long as u realised it, and make amends... There is use crying over spilt milk sometimes...

Its dark now, and i'm tired from all that soccer... I guess i can accept reality now... It sucks, but yea, so does everything else... =)

Sigh, when can i start playing the bass like 五月天? I mean seriously, i am stuck... And they're good.. Still a long way there, but dunno where to begin, this is as bad as trying to study econs by reading the newspaper...

Wait, should i be worrying abt that with exams and prelims round the corner? Darn....

Hahaz, all test results are out... Somehow i managed to pass every single one of them... I'm not saying that it was a surprise or wat, but i didn't think that i will pass every single one of them..
Econs was the paper that was the hardest to pass, but i did, so yup, that was the most "well deserved" pass...
Accounting was a comfortable pass... I knew i was going to pass that, so no worries on that part, juz how well only...
Stats was nonsense... If i fail stats, or even if i barely passed it, it will mean that i really suck at it... Given the fact that it was so easy, ppl like me who didn't even study for it can get 86%, ya... That test was really a giveaway...
IBM was the weirdest... Not that i was not happy to pass it... I mean, althou it was juz a scrape pass, i still passed... Juz that i was ready to fail it with flying colours already.. If i got juz 10%, i wouldn't be surprised... But i passed...

Tests are over... Time to start running the clock... 117 days left, yay....

Lovely isn't it? Just sums up my QT for the day...

The bill came... $1,348... That's wat's going to happen in May... Exams in 5 months, can't wait...

This is the 3rd time i am posting something in 2 days... Its either i am really bored, or i hav too much to say but no one's listening.. Either way, its still excessive...

I guess i needed skl in my life... Felt so much better today as i go thru the routine of getting picked on by teachers, laughing and joking with my course mates, getting back my econs test paper (i passed btw)... The hols has took its toll on me.. Maybe its due to me having too much time to think, too much time to consider, to ponder, to wander off into worthless thought... Ppl hav said that i think too much sometimes, and i agree... Some things are actually not so complicated as i imagined it to be.. But simplicity creeps me out.. Like having a one page answer to a 25 mark essay question.. You get the point... But yes, now that i am back in the game, its only a question of when is the nxt time... Well, till then... =)

The light rain touching my cheeks
The loud music screaming into my ears
How can two totally different, opposing things come together to be so comforting?

I've vent my anger, my frustrations.. Thank God for self control, almost destroyed my com last night when it hanged on me.. Literally.. It was going thru some abuse that i think can wake it up from its hanging habits...

Now its time to move on.. I can't live like this.. Can't sleep, can't eat, this is not me... Save me from myself...

Today's sermon was enlightening, to say the least... To know that i am not the only one feeling so lost as i step into this new year, to remember that even during these times, that there is a greater being watching over me... Yes, i know... I started this year with the mentality that its juz another year.. I hav nothing in store for me, nothing to look forward to, nothing to work towards, nothing to wish for, nothing. Not that it has changed now.. Nothing's changed.. I still feel that way.. But at least i know that i'm not alone....

Yes, i'm emo now... Can't even gather up my thoughts properly to type watever i wanted to... But yes, i think i am changing... Or rather, i had enough... Enough is enough... Didn't know that emptiness can take up so much space... That nothingness can be so pressurizing.. I felt so alone... Feel so alone... Even though it contradicts the fact that i know that i am not... It juz feels like i am constantly giving, going all out to satisfy others, that i forget that i am human too... But now i remember... I am human, and humans hav feelings... Keeping negative feelings was a wrong choice.. Two negatives dun make a positive, dun believe wat they teach u in math class.. But yes, i think i reached breaking point... Guess i need a friend... Someone to make me feel less lonely... But who cares? No one.

And so here we are, 2010... A new year full of things yet to be fulfilled.. One of which is the much needed sleep.. Can't believe that i am actually the only person still not sleeping.. The rest has concussed.. So yes, i am forced to look for smth to do, and this is smth to do...

Countdowns are starting to lose its fun factor.. Now its like juz another day, juz that i dun feel like going out to squeeze in the crowd again... My first few hours of this new year was spent with Baby, with L4D, and a bunch of zombies fighting off the Z monster like in L4D... Pardon me, but this is seriously the first time i played L4D.. And it was alr version 2... Didnt even know how the first version was like...

Anyways, 2010 has juz started, and the road is long... Hopefully i will walk a gd walk, run a gd run, and maybe roll a gd roll.. God bless my 2010... And of co yours too:.. :)