2017

Ah... Once again, I have ignored this blog for a few months. And once again, I am back to complain about life and why it is not going my way. 2016 was not a fantastic year for me, and to cap it off, I might be out of job soon. Sure, there were a few awesome moments in it, like how I went back to experience Dragonboating again, the awesome trip to Korea (which I didn't blog about, so maybe I will do that soon, with pics!), and of course the long awaited Pokemon Go coming out. While all these are sparks that light up the night, they fade off pretty quickly. Reality comes back into play almost immediately. And that sucks.

Sometimes I really envy those who knows what they want in life. Ok, correction. I have ALWAYS envied those who knows (or at least looks like they know) what they want in life. And once these people set their targets, they don't lose track of it. Even if life is tough at times, they persevere, they push on, because they have the goal in mind. And this is something that I have always wanted. I feel like a wandering soul on the surface of the planet, always surviving but never living. And I have tried to find my own mission in life, by trying all sorts of things. I traveled, did community work, worked retail, worked in the back end office, worked with music, learned music, and at the end of the day, it was still a question mark. And I am so sick and tired of not being able to find it.

I am still searching. Even though I am ready to give up. Give up and be consumed by the world. The world that tells everyone what you need to survive. To have a proper job and pay to feed yourself and family. To wake up in the morning to toil and earn your keep to maintain a position in the corporate world. To survive. And I am not convinced that that is they way to be. No, there is more to life than simply surviving. But until I find the life I want to live, I shall continue surviving.

Matthew 6:25-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.